Originally created 11/10/05

Comedian will be seeking mate in Augusta after loss of 'love pig'



Comedian Judy Tenuta does not answer questions; she asks them. She doesn't speak in sound bites, instead allowing conversations to unspool as stream-of-consciousness rants, raves and affectionate odes to things that interest and attract her.

For an interview, it is, if not tough going, at least unfamiliar territory. In terms of comedy, it's fertile ground.

Here are a few facts gleaned from a recent telephone conversation with Ms. Tenuta, who will perform Saturday at the Imperial Theatre, 745 Broad St.:

- She thinks bum-rushing Augusta National Golf Club and asking for a "goddess" membership might be an interesting way to spend an afternoon.

"Do you think I'll get arrested?" she asked. "Because that would be excellent press for the show."

- She is disturbed by the trend of young women becoming involved with older men.

"Here, the big thing is 12-year-old girls who want to be stars hooking up with 90-year-old producers," she said. "I mean, Tony Randall was 75 and he married a 24-year-old woman. Now, I don't think that's weird. I just think it's sort of disgusting."

- Recently single, Ms. Tenuta believes that Augusta might be a happy hunting ground for a single man, and she plans on accepting onstage proposals. Her Southern suitor requirements are simple - a job, an offering (flowers are always nice) and the ability to say something wonderful.

- Ms. Tenuta has a fascination of British culture. She'll riff tirelessly on the preferences of Prince Charles and his wife, whom she calls Camilla Parker-Bowling Ball and believes might be a man. She also looks forward to Thanksgiving, because it means the traditionally English shepherd's pie made with leftover turkey.

- Although known for her affection for the accordion, Ms. Tenuta confesses to a newfound love for hip-hop and R&B.

"Since I kicked out the love pig, I have gone totally ghetto," she said. "I love Usher, and that dirty guy, Lil' Jon. I mean I love everything, but right now I need a hip-hop intervention."

Reach Steven Uhles at (706) 823-3626 or steven.uhles@augustachronicle.com.

LOVE GODDESS ONSTAGE

WHAT: Judy Tenuta, with Kasey Jones

WHEN: 7:30 p.m. Saturday

WHERE: The Imperial Theatre, 745 Broad St.

COST: $25call: 722-8341