Originally created 10/11/05

Girl must talk to her cousin about dating ex-boyfriend



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: My cousin and I are very close; we're like best friends. She recently hooked me up with a boy I liked. Well, we broke up and then the next day I saw something strange, like they would look at each other and she (told) me he called her. I found out that they are going together.

I don't know if she was doing this just to get back (at) me because I went with someone she liked one time, but it was, like, a year ago.

Should I talk to my cousin and see what's going on or leave it alone and not talk to her or my ex-boyfriend, (who) I liked a lot?

HERE'S WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY TO THIS 18-YEAR-OLD:

- I think you should talk to your cousin because blood is thicker than water. You shouldn't like any boy who don't have respect for you. You and your cousin should forgive and forget because there is a lot of more important things going on right now. You should be blessed to have your cousin.

- Sit down and talk to your cousin. It appears you haven't resolved the problem from last year. You are cousins. Boys will come and go. Later on you might sit back and laugh at this.

XTREME REPORTER KAMILLE BOSTICK SAYS: You should absolutely talk to your cousin. Not only do you deserve to get to the bottom of this but your friendship also needs to have you two talking honestly about its future.

Doing things for spite or for payback (such as dating your ex because you dated hers) is not the way to conduct a friendship. It seems you both have gotten into a horrible cycle and instead of doing unto others as you'd have them do to you, it's the opposite.

That's no way to run a friendship and it certainly isn't a way to treat family.

Talk to your cousin and talk to her soon, and in private. Don't be afraid to ask her about what happened and why she is dating your ex, and don't be afraid to ask her whether it has anything to do with you dating her ex. Be prepared that it might not have anything to do with last year and everything to do with the fact that she and he grew close when she was "hooking" you up.

At some point in the conversation, you two need to decide what's more important - your friendship or your attraction to the same guys. If the friendship is more important, take the steps necessary to re-establish the boundaries of your relationship with your cousin. A good place to start is with both of you vowing to stop dating each others' boyfriends, be they exes or not. That stuff is just way too messy.

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM



My girlfriend just left to go to Job Corps. She will be gone for eight months. She's up there, and I think she's cheating. Some people say I should have broken up with her when she first left and gotten back together when she got back, but I love her. I just think she's cheating.



Do you have any advice for this 17-year-old Augusta girl?

Use the form below to submit your reply or call the Advice Line voice mailbox at 823-3358. You'll have one minute to reply.

Got a problem? Use the form below to tell us about it or call the Advice Line voice mailbox at 823-3358. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

You can also e-mail your problems to kamille.bostick@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. Remember to include your age and hometown. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.



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