Every sex offender carries life sentence

My name is Billy Laws. I'm a registered sex offender.

I did 18 years in prison for my crime. I now go to a sex-offender class once a week; see a probation officer twice a month; go to a mental health center for follow-up treatment; and have unannounced visits by sheriff's deputies. I have eight more years to live under close scrutiny. One more incident could result in a death sentence, or life in prison without parole. I carry this warning at all times.

I live in a supervised, faith-based residential treatment program, where I came when released from prison on the last day of January. I left prison with the clothes on my back, $25 and a bus ticket to Augusta. I have no family support system.

Without the help I have received, I could not have paid the mandatory $20 a week for classes; the $10 a month for probation; the $175 every six months for lie detector tests; or buy clothes, food and medicine. Nor could I pay the $300 each month for program expenses. I cannot get a job because of limitations in job skills, education, transportation and places where I can go. Besides, who would hire me?

MOST OFFENDERS don't get this support. They find it easier to go back to prison than to re-enter society. The high rate of repeat offenders is, in part, because of the lack of community support. Some of us really want to change, but we need help. I have learned that costs for incarceration are about $35,000 a year per prisoner. Rehabilitation costs about half that much.

I know many people are scared when sex offenders live in their neighborhoods. I understand that. But please understand that what I did more than 18 years ago was a mistake that I cannot change. I live with it every day. Every night, I wake up with my bed soaked with sweat from bad dreams. All I want to do is recover and be a part of society. I don't want people to be afraid of me. I have never physically hurt anyone. You see, I grew up in a dysfunctional family in which I was sexually molested. I gradually moved from being molested to becoming a molester. It just seemed natural to me at that time.

I would like to ask people in our area; Do you know who lives next door to you? How do you know that they are not sex offenders, child molesters or crackheads who just have not been caught? They might be giving your children dope, or molesting them without your knowledge.

How about you? Are you hiding anything?

(Editor's note: The writer lives in Martinez.)