Government deserves a colorful character

To err is human. For it not to be your error is divine.

A news story last week about people who owe the city money in the form of delinquent taxes, utility and landfill bills quoted Mayor Bob Young as saying The Chronicle should resurrect an old cartoon character from the now-defunct Augusta Herald who appeared in top hat and tails and shamed owners of rundown property. His name was Broadus Street, Mr. Young said.

Well, folks around here who have what is called "institutional memories" (Metro Editor Bill Kirby) say it wasn't Broadus Street who helped clean up the Garden City but another character known as Lord Augustus.

Lord Augustus actually was the character who would be pointing out some blighted lot while saying something such as, "These people ought to be ashamed of themselves."

This got us to thinking about the need for a new cartoon character to point out some of the foibles of our city fathers. We could call her Marbelous Twiggs in honor of the late legendary Herald and Chronicle reporter and columnist Margaret Twiggs, who coined the phrase Marble Palace. Ms. Twiggs is remembered for eavesdropping on closed-door Richmond County Commission meetings. She was known to get on her hands and knees and listen through the door vents.

One time, she lay down on a bench unnoticed when commissioners went into one of their "executive sessions" and took notes. When they were finished, she sat up and said, "Thank you" and walked out.

What else would you expect from a proud American and descendent of a Revolutionary War general?

RONNIE'S JUST A YEAR AWAY FROM BEING WHAT? A sexagenarian.

It's true.

Richmond County Sheriff Ronnie Strength turned 59 Saturday.

LOOKING FOR A LEPRECHAUN AND A POT OF GOLD: The city needs to spend $9.5 million to make the Joint Law Enforcement Center habitable, but Commissioner Willie Mays says once that's done, it won't be long before something else will go wrong with the leaky jailhouse.

In an effort to set some new commissioners straight about the history of the jail last week, Mr. Mays said the construction was so faulty that former city electrician Dick Edenfield and fire chief Bill Maddox refused to sign off on it.

"If you can find a certificate of occupancy on that, you can find a leprechaun and a pot of gold at the same time," Mr. Mays said. "They didn't want to deal with it, and that is the God in heaven's truth."

Mr. Mays, who was on the Augusta City Council when the jail opened in 1985, said the county government moved in anyway.

"They said, 'We're the government. Let's just move in.' And they moved in," he said.

"Mr. Edenfield, a man of the utmost integrity, never would put his name down on it and told the mayor of the city at that time, who was Ed McIntyre, 'I'll go home first.' The county wanted this mess over here, and they got it. I think this is a case of the chicken coming home to roost."

Hmmm. Well, City Ink just couldn't let that pass, so we called Mr. Edenfield and Chief Maddox.

Mr. Edenfield, now 86, said city inspectors never looked at the project at all.

"It was a political deal between the commission and Ed McIntyre," he said. "They pulled us off it altogether. The county government wanted us out of it altogether. I didn't want to sign off. I didn't go down there. We were told we wouldn't have anything to do with it."

Chief Maddox said, "It seems like to me we were told to stay away from that building. Seems like to me we was told to leave that building alone."

Chief Maddox, however, said he was certain there would have been a certificate of occupancy issued by the state.

City Ink has been trying to track down that original certificate of occupancy, but folks just don't return phone calls. One lesson learned, however, is the truth of the saying, "Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan."

DO YOU, FRED, TAKE THIS MARIMBA BAND? Augusta Commissioner Bobby Hankerson didn't think much of Commissioner Andy Cheek's proposal to raise from $10,000 to $25,000 the limit on the amount of money Administrator Fred Russell could authorize spending without going before the commission for approval.

"Do we have any data, statistics of how this has slowed up the government in some cases that have come up?" Mr. Hankerson asked when the subject came up last week. "I would like to see some of that."

He also said he'd like to get Mr. Russell officially hired and hear what he had to say about the subject before changing the policy.

"This may be a little premature to do it now," he said. "I don't know how to explain this, but as a marriage counselor, I don't recommend giving my wife the checkbook the first night we get married."

Right then, Housing and Economic Development Assistant Director Doug Manning's phone started playing a very loud Latin tune.

"That's the bride coming in," Mr. Hankerson quipped as Mr. Manning left the room to take the call.

Mr. Hankerson said he just wanted his colleagues to understand what they were doing and not be surprised "four years into the marriage" by a $19,000 change order they didn't know anything about.

Then Mr. Manning's phone chimed again.

"That's the processional, so I'm finished with it," Mr. Hankerson said as Mr. Manning again left the room, followed this time by Mr. Russell, who no doubt gave him a word to the wise.

Apparently irritated by the whole thing, Mr. Cheek said, "I'm going to make a motion that the next Latin phone message that comes in, whoever answers the ring has to dance to the song."

WHO'S BLUER? BRYAN OR SONNY? City Ink thought it was time to give Bryan Haltermann a little ink, but it appears he had plenty Thursday night.

Mr. Haltermann's pen exploded during a work session of the Augusta-Richmond County Historic Preservation Commission, leaving his mouth, face and hands covered in blue ink.

During that meeting, Chairman Sonny Pittman voted to rescind the Bethlehem district's local historic designation.

Mr. Pittman agrees with Augusta Mayor Pro Tem Marion Williams about the need to tear down the old buildings but still has to try to sell the city on the proposal to retain the designation he voted against.

"I've got to get one of those great ink pens Bryan has before I march into the lion's den next month to convey HPC's proposal," Mr. Pittman said.

Mr. Pittman is trying out different ways of selling the proposal without selling out.

"How's this?" he said. "Commissioner Williams, I believe this is a good compromise that balances the need for historic preservation and urban renewal in Bethlehem.

"I've got to keep practicing it, so I can try to say it with a straight face."

Mr. Pittman said the only thing he liked about Thursday's meeting was "seeing Bryan with ink all over him.

"He's good guy; he just never learned to throw some old things away," he said.

MORE FUN WITH SONNY: Concerning government reformer and Citizens Action Committee founder Woody Merry and Mr. Cheek's surprise alliance, Mr. Pittman had this to say:

"How about Woody and Andy? Marion must be jealous."

City Ink thanks Staff Writer Kate Lewis for her contribution to this week's column.

Reach Sylvia Cooper at (706) 823-3228 or sylvia.cooper@augustachronicle.com.