Even the old way was better than BCS

Stick a Roman numeral on it. The BCS is that pretentious - and that bad.

BCS Bowl VII - a.k.a. the 2004 Orange Bowl - was a good case study for never having a football championship come down to any one game.

It was an even greater indictment of itself. The BCS "championship" game has replaced the Super Bowl as the most overhyped blowout of the year.

Joke-lahoma II proved that sequels really are worse than the original - and that's saying something when you're dealing with the most ridiculous postseason system in sports.

In the aftermath of Southern Cal's "title" annihilation you'll surely hear BCS apologists fondly reciting their mantra: "At least it's better than the old way."

WRONG! It's much worse. The BCS has absolutely ruined college football's bowl system. At least in the old days Auburn players and fans would have been absolutely thrilled about going to the Sugar Bowl and playing anybody.

The BCS has stepped all over the buzz on Bourbon Street, pooh-poohed the parade in Pasadena and put the siesta in the Fiesta. It is the Grinch that stole New Year's Day bowl significance.

You're a foul one, BCS.

You're a nasty, waste of time.

Your voters are full of unaccountable ballots

Your bowl is full of gunk,

B-C-eeeeeeeeEEEES!

The three words that best describe you are, and I quote,

'Stink! Stank! Stunk!'

You shouldn't have touched Tuesday night's BCS Bust VII fiasco with a 39-point line.

I mean 55-19, are you kidding me? Even Southern Cal was so embarrassed it started giving Oklahoma pity points. If you thought that was tough to watch, imagine how Auburn and Utah must have felt.

The Orange Bowl wasn't the first bad BCS bust, just the latest. In seven tries, only one "title" game has been worthy of ESPN Classic (Ohio State's pass interference-marred, double-OT win over Miami for the 2002 title). BCS Bowl I (Tennessee beating Florida State 23-16 in 1998) was palatable.

The rest have been largely stinkers. Michael Vick's gifts couldn't entirely save the one in 1999. Mark Richt's Florida State offense couldn't score in 2000. Nebraska couldn't justify its presence in 2001. Oklahoma stooped to new lows in the past two.

It is absolutely clear that this BCS business simply cannot work. It never will. Any successes will be the exception, not the rule.

It's so bad that coaches are ducking open-records requests to divulge their votes. It's so bad that even sports writers don't want their good names associated with it.

It is a colossal failure that needs to be scrapped before the contract runs out - for the good of the game. And since it's equally clear that college presidents will never yield to the wisdom of a traditional playoff, it's time to go back to the way it was.

Yes, the old bowl system was better. The traditional bowl matchups, the back-room maneuvers and the after-season debates beat the heck out of the way it is now. You played who you played. Pollsters picked who they picked. Water coolers heated up with arguments about mythical champs and mysterious snubs. Everybody was happy. Nobody got hurt.

It was so stupid, it was brilliant.

With a little tweaking, it could be even better. Let the Rose Bowl resume its Pac 10/Big Ten matchup. Let the Sugar be sweetened by grateful SEC champs again. Shift the Big 12 champion to Fiesta. Send the ACC to the Orange. Let the bowls decide the best dance partners for the best matchups and play every one of them on New Year's Day again.

The old system won't answer any of the same questions the BCS raises every year - nor would it pretend to. We'll never know if Auburn could have beaten Southern Cal any more than we'll know if USC could have beaten LSU the year before. We'll never know if Utah could have hung with any of them.

Are we to just accept that USC is No. 1 because they won bigger than Auburn? Remember, some of the same people who claim that's the case are the same experts who thought Oklahoma was the best team going into Tuesday night. I mean, the Lee Corso who declared Southern Cal much better than Auburn is the same guy who a week before said "OU is a very good team and they could blow out Southern California ... a lot quicker than Southern California could blow out Oklahoma."

In my eyes, all three unbeatens have every right to pass out rings, hang up banners and stake a claim to being the best college football team in 2004. I won't argue with the Trojans' title claim after Tuesday night's utter humiliation of the Sooners. But I won't argue with Auburn's and Utah's right to dispute, either.

Comparing them is an apples to Orange Bowl riddle that only a playoff could unravel.

But that won't happen. So blow it up and start over.

The quest for championship legitimacy has bastardized the whole system. As silly as it seems, the most simple solution is to go back to the good ol' days when bowls were bought and champions were a state of mind.

Reach Scott Michaux at (706) 823-3219 or scott.michaux@augustachronicle.com.