Malls are all hype on Christmas Eve

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

- Robert Heinlein

I did something on Christmas Eve I haven't done in years.

I went shopping.

We have all read about, heard about and even talked about the pressure of this last-minute rush. The images of pushing and shoving and desperation of those who have put off their duty until Christmas Eve are a part of our culture.

I didn't really have anything to buy, but I was at the in-laws' looking for reasons to get out of the house, so out the door I went.

Now, let me tell you a secret - it's not that bad.

In fact, the half-dozen stores I visited seemed easy to navigate - the usual Friday night crowd, I thought.

The staffers were cheerful, almost jovial. And it sort of makes sense.

The die-hard shoppers have already picked over most of the aisles and are resting up for Sunday's after-Christmas sales. The amateur shoppers have been frightened away.

That leaves lots of room for the rest of us. Next year, I'll know.

And so will you.

MAILBAG: M.L. Hoyt of McCormick writes favorably about my dog columns but says I'm wrong about cats watching Fox News. "I would like to tell you that cats watch Jon Stewart's The Daily Show."

Augusta might not have gotten a weekend white Christmas, but Bing Crosby expert Pete Cakanic, of North Augusta, liked my recent mention of Bob Hope's road buddy. He says White Christmas is more than a holiday favorite; it also is a book: White Christmas, The Story of an American Song by Jody Rosen.

And Pat VanHooser, also of North Augusta, sends a postcard from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and writes: "After a couple of tequilas, you pick up the lingo pretty quickly."

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

TODAY'S JOKE: It was the day after Christmas. The pastor of a church was looking over the Nativity scene when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.

Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did you get him, my fine friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?"

The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas, I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him the first ride in it."