Health care should not get a holiday

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Christmas can kill you.

It's true. Researchers at the University of California San Diego reported that more Americans die of heart attacks and other natural causes on Christmas Day, the day after and on New Year's Day than any other days of the year.

They think it might be because people are too busy to go to the hospital during the winter holiday season.

They also suspect hospitals might not be at their best. Clinics, emergency rooms and other health facilities do not operate at top efficiency over the holiday period, said Dr. Trip Meine, a cardiologist at Duke University in North Carolina, who led the study released at an American College of Cardiology meeting.

My advice: Stay calm. Slow down. Go to the doctor if you feel bad.

We need to keep all the readers we've got, and you're one of them.

l

PUPPY UPDATE: My new family dog has made peace with the living room Christmas tree. He has not pulled it over. He has not taken a bite of the electric lights. He has even quit trying to drink the water from the tree stand.

I cannot say the same, however, for the family Nativity scene, which is missing a wise man.

I asked the dog if he'd seen him, but he's not talking.

l

TODAY'S JOKE: Speaking of hospitals, here's another joke from Billy Cooper.

A woman called a local hospital:

"Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients? I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, Room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help you?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302."

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine and she is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours. If she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic ... that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302. Nobody here tells me anything."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.