Aiken family has stressful 'Wife Swap'

Everyone knows what happens when oil and water mix, but that didn't stop Bill and Wendy Ray, of Aiken, from taking their chances.

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The Southern Baptist couple and their two children agreed to switch moms with a punk-rock family from Dallas for ABC's reality TV show Wife Swap.

"We thought it'd be fun to see how other people live," Mr. Ray said with a resigned laugh. "We should have been wiser for what we were getting into."

Mrs. Ray, who applied to the show in the hopes of earning prize money and a taste of TV stardom, agreed.

"It wasn't as fun as I thought it might be," she said, noting that there was no prize money. "Sure it was our 15 minutes of fame, but basically they gave us seven minutes too many."

As part of the show, Mrs. Ray and Cristina Aguirre, a mother of three who allows her children to home-school themselves, spent two weeks running each other's households and taking on the other's duties.

The episode, taped in September, airs at 10 tonight on WJBF-TV (Channel 6).

Before arriving in Texas, Mrs. Ray said, she had second thoughts but knew she had a contract to fulfill.

"They (the Texas family) were very intelligent, very friendly. They just looked very strange and had weird hairdos and piercings. I thought they were devil worshipers," she said. "I'm sure that they thought I was just as odd as I thought they were, and that's what the TV people wanted."

Clashes occurred over lifestyles, curfews, chores, home-schooling and a temporary tattoo that Mrs. Aguirre wanted Mrs. Ray's 15-year-old daughter, Brittany, to get.

"You'll see that on TV," Mr. Ray said of his defiant refusal to go along with the plan.

"My son (12-year-old Dustin) called me at work and said they were taking her to Augusta to get a tattoo, and that's where the controversy comes in," he said.

Mrs. Ray said things didn't go much better for her in Dallas.

"It was awful for me," she said. "I was just so lonely. I missed my family so bad. I would just cry my eyes out."

And the worst part: "Being in somebody else's house and asking them to change. I thought I could do it before I left. I felt bad imposing my rules on them," she said.

"Being from the South, I was raised to be courteous and tolerant and gracious. I wasn't raised to go into somebody's house and say you've got to do it my way. If it was their thing, it was their thing."

Still, as viewers will see, acceptance didn't keep the families from reuniting without conflict.

"I hate that two families that probably could have been friends aren't, and not because of who we are as people but the way the television thing works," Mrs. Ray said.

Because of that, the Ray family has a warning for viewers: "What goes into making a reality show isn't necessarily reality," Mrs. Ray said.

There is a passing concern among the Rays about what people will think after seeing the episode.

"The people who know us know we aren't confrontational people," Mr. Ray said. "But it doesn't matter what we look like, we're adults and we can take it, it's the kids that we're concerned for."

Brittany and Dustin said they're not too worried about what will be said about them. They're just happy their mom is back home.

Mrs. Ray said she's happy, too.

"I wouldn't want to do it again," she said. "With this experience I've learned my lesson."

Reach Kamille Bostick at (706) 823-3223 or kamille.bostick@augustachronicle.com.

Check it out

What: ABC's Wife Swap

When: 10 tonight, WJBF-TV (Channel 6)

Episode: A free-wheeling, punk rock mother of three teenagers swaps lives with a conservative, old-fashioned Southern mom from Aiken.

On the Net:

Official Website: http://abc.go.com/primetime/wifeswap/

How to apply: http://abc.go.com/primetime/wifeswap/casting.html