Love him or hate him, Woody Merry, the Augusta financial planner who has lashed out at city officials and spearheaded a reform group called the Citizens Action Committee, does have an imaginative way of expressing things.
His analogy about the anger his attacks on city commissioners has generated is a good example.
"If you've ever been to marriage counseling, until you get the anger out on the table, you're not going to make any progress," he said.
We haven't, but we've read Can This Marriage Be Saved? and know the drill.
The residents would complain the commission wastes money, doesn't keep the place up, is unresponsive to their needs and isn't doing anything to bring more money home.
The commission would say the residents have called them incompetent, want to boss them around, don't appreciate how hard they work, blame them for everything bad but give them no credit for anything good and, worst of all, hurt their feelings and lie about them.
If after they'd hashed it all out they still couldn't kiss and make up, the residents would pack up and move to Columbia County or maybe Aiken. The commission would get the house, the land and the bank account. There just wouldn't be any money in it, and the city would be bankrupt. If they never talked at all, the same thing would happen.
NOT QUITE POLYSYLLABIC: What is it about the coliseum authority that turns the members into parrots when somebody throws out a word with more than two syllables? Several months ago, City Ink reported that members used the word "instrument" two dozen times in reference to an employee evaluation form after member Wayne Frazier used it during a meeting.
Well, at the last authority meeting, toward the end of a lengthy debate over a policy and procedures manual, member Joe Scott called it a "document," and in less than 10 minutes, the word was repeated 19 times.
Mr. Scott used it twice. Members Ellis Albright used it once; Mildred McDaniel, four times; Billy Holden, twice; Bonnie Ruben, once; and Chairwoman Annie Rogers, nine times.
We must say, however, that Mrs. Rogers does run a good meeting, and in the opinion of Ms. Ruben has done an excellent job.
"I give her total credit," Ms. Ruben said. "She and Mildred McDaniel are the most reasonable ones there."
Naturally, Bonnie, they are the "fair" sex.
One thing for sure, Mrs. Rogers, a retired high-school math teacher, brooks no nonsense from her unruly class. During the discussion of whether employees should be allowed to contact board members with complaints, Mr. Holden said he opposed such contact as a guard against one board member bringing a complaint before the board that other members weren't clued in on.
Dr. Frazier takes the opposite view because, for one thing, just knowing that employees could rat them out would keep civic center managers on their toes.
"You're not going to have any rules to guard against fools," he said. "You can always find a fool in any group."
"You're out of order," Mrs. Rogers said. "I don't think you need that kind of dialogue in here. I think name-calling is out of order. I mean, that's just out of order, period. As of today, when I hear something I feel is out of order, I'm going to call it out of order if I see it that way."
After the vote on the "document," Dr. Frazier did what he has done before during stressful meetings. He started singing the Barney song: "I love you. You love me."
"I think he's had enough," Mr. Albright quipped.
HOCKEY OR HARDBALL?: "Where are our Lynx tickets?" That's what Mr. Scott wanted to know during the authority meeting.
"We usually have our Lynx tickets in hand," he said. "For the whole season. What happened to that? What's the reason for that?"
General Manager Larry Rogers said Augusta Lynx hockey team management had said that if authority members wanted tickets, they could call and request them.
Assistant Civic Center Manager Linda Roberts explained that Lynx General Manager Paul Gamsby had called and said the Lynx would mail or leave tickets for members at the will-call window on a game-by-game basis on request.
Mr. Scott wasn't satisfied.
"That doesn't answer my question," he said, homing in on Mr. Rogers. "My question is what happened as to why they didn't mail our tickets out. I need you to answer that."
"You know why," Mr. Albright said, snickering.
"They didn't give us a reason," Mr. Rogers said.
Authority members voted in February to start charging the Lynx for a sound system operator and spotlights for games for the first time. Lynx ownership disputes the charges and filed suit in October asking a judge to decide.
HE USED TO CARRY THEIR SODA; NOW HE'S GOING TO CARRY THEIR WATER: Interim City Administrator Fred Russell will get the job permanently - and soon, according to signals coming from City Hall.
Who woulda thunk it? As assistant to Administrator George Kolb, Mr. Russell was not a popular figure, although some folks thought he was nice. He always seemed to be lurking around serving juice and crackers to commissioners. But since taking over after Mr. Kolb left town, he has done a good job, even amid the sales-tax fiasco. Commissioners give him credit for keeping the 2005 budget-balancing process from turning into a similar public embarrassment, although Finance Chairman Tommy Boyles takes most of the credit.
He also seems to have a calming effect on the more volatile commissioners, such as Marion Williams, not threatening them with his intellect as did former Administrator Randy Oliver, MBA, CPA and MIT-educated PE, who earned the degree from the prestigious school on full scholarship. And Mr. Russell doesn't give them any sass like Mr. Kolb did or look at them like they just landed from Mars when they say something, uh, less than brilliant.
Thirty-five years as a police officer probably trained Mr. Russell to keep his cool in emergencies, sum folks up right quick-like and play good cop or bad cop as the situation demands.
The only complaint we've heard is that he must be getting splinters in his britches sitting on the fence so much. Maybe a contract would give him the security he needs to un-straddle. Whatever. His performance has surprised many people.
"I think he has reinvented himself," said one department head last week.
WHOA, Nelly!: Not so fast there, Mayor Bob Young said. The ordinance on hiring a city administrator calls for commissioners to approve a process for the mayor to use in developing a list of three candidates, from which he would make a recommendation for their approval. So far, they have not approved the process.
Asked how he would rate Mr. Russell's performance, Mr. Young said, "adequate."
"Is he the best candidate? I don't know. It's really premature in my opinion."
Besides, the mayor said, Mr. Russell might be popular now, but when he starts implementing those 6.7 percent across-the-board departmental cuts commissioners ordered, he might end up being the most hated person around.
"There are going to be a lot of unhappy people, and he might be the most hated man in the court house by more than six commissioners," he said.
HE PROMISED HER A ROSE GARDEN: Mr. Young was out of his office Friday, moving from Port Royal to Summerville on the Hill.
"We enjoyed living downtown, but Mrs. Young yearned to have her rose garden again and whatnot," he said.
The mayor and his wife, Gwen, own three houses in Augusta and one in Beaufort, S.C.
"They talk about people moving to Columbia County. I think property in Richmond County is a pretty darn good investment right now," he said. "We own three of them. Might even buy some more."
Reach Sylvia Cooper at (706) 823-3228 or sylvia.cooper@augustachronicle.com.
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