Originally created 10/31/04

Woman does not have to wait for late friend

Dear Carson: I am 62 years old and one of my very best girlfriends has developed a bad habit in the past few years.

She has kept me waiting in the hot sun for 90 minutes while she talked to other friends and waiting 40 minutes while she shopped, returning at a leisurely pace as though no one were waiting. For all of these occasions there was a prearranged meeting time.

Also, she has been 30 minutes late for dinner at my home when she decided to stop at the liquor store to get wine on her way. I am very upset at her inconsideration of my time and feelings. I have told her once already that I would never wait for her again and would leave her if she was late again.

Please tell me whether I should say something again or just enjoy these events when she is late. - Dwindling Patience

Dear Dwindling: She obviously thinks her time is more valuable than yours and is getting her needs met at your expense. Because actions speak louder than words, I suggest that in the future, you give her 15 minutes leeway before leaving.

Dear Carson: I recently received my doctor of ministry degree in liturgical studies from a Catholic theological union in Chicago. I am employed at a Roman Catholic parish, but my pastor will not allow me to use the title "Dr." when I speak in a liturgical setting. He claims it is not a legitimate title and he will only allow me to use "D. Min." after my name.

In a male-dominated arena such as Roman Catholic worship, I believe my title reinforces my credentials. Is it correct to use "Dr." before my name when I am speaking in my area of expertise? - Doctor of Divinity

Dear DD: Yours is a scholastic title and may be used in your area of expertise or when speaking on a topic of your profession. However, it is incorrect to use the title, "Dr." for other events, as in social occasions.

Dear Carson: I should have written after your first purple heart Band-Aid column, but I assumed you would have reams of letters explaining the issue to you.

The purple heart Band-Aids were used to show contempt of Sen. John Kerry by supporters of President Bush. I just thought you'd like to know.

I guess most of your readers are not politically aware and think some of your colleagues can confirm the reason of purple heart Band-Aids this election year. - Purple Heart Protocol

Dear Heart: Thanks for setting me straight. It was not the readers, but I, who misinterpreted this one. Also, I commend you for pointing this out to me in such a courteous and tactful manner.

Dear Carson: Is it proper when displaying wedding gifts to place the giver's name on gifts? - Display Diplomacy

Dear Display: Most bridal couples do not display the card of the giver, but it is permissible.



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