Originally created 07/25/04
Desperation is the mother of all inventions
By Columnist
Today's column introduction tips a cap to the best show on television, Comedy Central's The Daily Show with former William & Mary soccer player Jon Liebowitz. Most people know him as Jon Stewart.
When a planned column idea slips through the cracks at the last minute, the desperate columnist catches up with a current events notebook feature we'll call "Back in Newsprint."
How does the NCAA expect an athletically gifted high school young man to be able to figure out which college is best suited for him if he's not allowed to travel for official campus visits on private jets, ride in limos, eat at five-star restaurants, stay in a luxury hotels with private hot tubs, be introduced to beautiful and potentially available women, drink alcohol despite being underage and see and hear what their names would look and sound like on giant stadium scoreboards? What kind of message is this sending? That blue-chip recruits are no more special than class valedictorians who play clarinet and volunteer every weekend at the local community center? C'mon. ...
Suddenly, the powers-that-be in college football admit that it's better to trust humans and their polls more than computers and manipulated data to decide who should play for the national championship. Don't believe the spin coming from their idiot PR machine. If they really trusted humans (fans) and polls (opinions), there would be a Division I-A playoff already. ...
As Lance Armstrong rolls to his unprecedented sixth straight Tour de France victory today, rumors that the American
cyclist uses performance-enhancing drugs continue to dog him everywhere he rides. Why doesn't he just come right out and say it's all true. If it wasn't for the chemotherapy, cancer survivor Armstrong probably wouldn't even be alive - much less peddling triumphantly through the Alps and into Paris. ...
John Smoltz insists that Chipper Jones will step up and be the Braves' MVP in the second half of the season. Jones, a .309 career hitter, was batting .217 heading into the Mets series, yet the Braves were somehow in first place in the NL East. If Smoltz doesn't turn out to be right and Chipper doesn't turn it around, the Braves will miss the postseason for the first time since 1990. ...
If you didn't judge from the world golf rankings or the money list, you'd be hard-pressed to figure out which of the two current Augusta-bred PGA Tour pros was having the better season. Rookie Vaughn Taylor is performing better than Charles Howell in almost every statistical category.
One thing is holding Taylor behind - final-round scoring. Despite a better scoring average before the cut and on Saturdays, Taylor's overall adjusted scoring average is nearly half a stroke per round higher than Howell's.
Still, Taylor is currently 103rd on the PGA Tour money list and 241st in the world ranking. Howell ranks 32nd in money won and 34th in the world, figures that generate him more cash and prestige by making him eligible for every major and World Golf Championship event. ...
In case you didn't notice, the first person Todd Hamilton hugged and credited after winning the British Open last week was his caddie Ron Levin, aka Bambi. Levin used to be Howell's caddie when he started on the PGA Tour. Howell broke Levin's heart when he dumped him after 2001 because he wanted a more seasoned caddie. Howell settled upon his current sidekick Brendan McCartain, who won a Masters with Jose Maria Olazabal. Nobody could have predicted Levin would win a major quicker with tour rookie Hamilton, who said, "If I could saw that Claret Jug in half and give it to (Levin), I would." ...
It is interesting that former NBAer Jayson Williams killed a human and essentially got away with it barely quickened people's pulses but the allegation that he cold-bloodedly shot his own dog leaves many seething with the same anger and contempt usually reserved for O.J. Simpson.
Reach Scott Michaux at (706) 823-3219 or scott.michaux@augustachronicle.com.
