Job perks include invitations to birthday bashes

Nothing is said that has not been said before.

- Terrence (185-159 B.C.)

One of the benefits of this sort of work is that you receive many invitations, often with supper attached.

That's what I was doing the other night with the Methodist Men of Mann Memorial United Methodist Church. They meet at Dave's Restaurant in Southgate Shopping Center, which has a room with memorabilia from former Augusta restaurants such as the Town Tavern and Duke's.

I'm sure the turnout was improved because they also had a surprise birthday cake for Roger Stone, a retired preacher whose sermons I enjoyed years ago.

Roger said he had reached the age where you spend more money on candles than cake.

I will politely note that were enough of both to go around.

I gave the gathering an informal presentation, which consisted mainly of my repertoire of preacher jokes.

At the end of the table, member William Hall told a story about a Louisiana paratrooper, which I countered with my own short but unfortunate tale of the Cajun and his gas stove.

I then briefly tried to explain how the newspaper works, which I soon realized sounded about as interesting as iron smelting. So I deftly went for my file of classified ads that probably shouldn't have been printed.

The evening, like most good times seem, went too quickly. Thanks again to the group's president, Donald Anderson, for his kind invitation.

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MORE POSTCARDS: Jimmy and Barbara, of North Augusta, send a card from Italy. "a fascinating and beautiful country." Joseph and Eva Fournier say hello from the nation's capital, where the weather has been cooperative.

Dave and Linda Hopkins, of Augusta, send a card from Patriots Point outside Charleston, S.C., where they say "fireworks shot from the deck of the USS Yorktown were awesome."

Beverly Roberts is in Detroit for the International Lions Convention and wants to say hello to the Hephzibah Lions Club. Gail and Jack Parker call Seattle "a fun place!" Betty Clark, of Aiken, is "just tooling around Alabama."

And the Lakeside High School group attending the national FCCLA meeting has found Chicago to be "a lovely city!"

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TODAY'S JOKE: Billy Cooper offers this story:

A young pastor was asked by the local funeral director to hold a graveside burial service for someone with no family or friends.

Unfortunately, the preacher got lost on the way and arrived a half-hour late.

He saw a backhoe and its crew, who appeared to be eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

He felt guilty about his tardiness, walked up to the freshly dug hole and began to preach an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.

As he returned to his car, he saw the workmen staring. And just before he opened his door he heard one of them say,

"You know, I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years, and I ain't never seen anything like that."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.