Bad cell phone? Not a problem

We are here on earth to do good for others. What the others are here for, I don't know.

- W.H. Auden

I'm out of the mainstream, particularly when it comes to complaining.

The University of Michigan compiles a quarterly survey on customer service and has found that our nation's top consumer gripes are cable TV providers and cell phone companies.

Neither is a problem at my house.

On the rare times my cable goes out, I watch my 30-year-old, non-cable, Old Testament, black-and-white TV set.

My cell phone is not nearly so old, but it works pretty much when I need it to. The fact that it is held together with cellophane tape only adds to its rough-and-tumble image.

It also has conveniently NOT received a few calls or voice messages, causing me to miss meetings or engagements that I really enjoyed missing.

When I later apologized and blamed my lack of attendance on a bad cell phone, I was forgiven.

(We call that a "win-win" situation.)

l

COMMUNICATIONS CONTINUE: Speaking of reaching out, the Smalleys, of Appling, send another innovative "postcard." It is a note stuffed inside a plastic bottle and mailed from Hilton Head, where they enjoyed July Fourth.

Others travelers sending postcards include David Daitch, who says hi from Cornwall, England.

Corky and Debbie Holloway, of Evans, send a card from Pigeon Forge, Tenn., and the Arnetts and Basses, of Martinez, "took the kids" to Marietta, Ga.

Buddy and Mary Ann Johns are having a wonderful time in Cherokee, N.C., while John and Celia Albert say hello from a cruise around Nassau and the Bahamas.

Sandra, Shirley and David Johnson, of Augusta, must have noticed we didn't have a card from Arizona and sent one quickly.

In fact, we only need postcards from five states to round out our annual summer project, and four of those - Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine and Massachusetts - are pretty close together.

l

TODAY'S JOKE: A woman had five children. One day, she was talking to a friend about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. In fact, she told her friend, she had mellowed a lot over the years:

"When my oldest coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance for her. When my youngest swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."