Originally created 05/04/04

Girl should tell guy friend how she is feeling



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I'm talking to this boy at school. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we talk seriously. He doesn't seem to get that I want to be more than what we are, and every time I see him he's constantly flirting with some other girl.

I really like him and want this to work. What should I do?

HERE'S WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY:

l He obviously isn't that interested in you, so move on and find a new guy.

l Don't let your desire to be more than friends interfere with your friendship. It seems obvious that he is only interested in being friends with you. Or he is trying to make you jealous so you will make the first move to initiating something more. Boys are so complicated; put your extra energy into your schoolwork and not this immature boy.

l Did you actually tell him straight up how you feel about him? If not, then maybe that's the first step. If you have told him and he's still flirting with other girls then maybe he is just not interested in having a girlfriend right now.

l Ask him out! Girls can ask guys to go out with them. It sounds weird, but so what? I've done it before and I had the same problem. Sometimes, guys like honest girls.

Xtreme reporter Kamille Bostick says: Tell this guy that you find it disrespectful when he flirts with other girls while the two of you are trying to get together.

He may not know that he is bothering you or may even think that because you have said nothing about what he does, you don't mind his doing it.

While you have no claims to him, he should be considerate enough of your feelings and your ego to not go from girl to girl.

A person can only treat you as bad (or as good) as you let them. Stand up for yourself and let this guy know that you don't want to see him act like a door-to-door salesman, peddling his goods from one person to the next.

If he truly likes you and is serious about getting together with you, he should change. If he's content to just keep his options open and play the field, he won't.

You can't make someone want to be with you, and certainly every guy who smiles in your face isn't always ready or willing to smile just at you. A lot of times people just want to see how desirable they are.

If your goals and expectations for each other don't match, don't waste your time; you can't force a bachelor into becoming a devoted boyfriend.

KAMILLE BOSTICK/STAFFMarilyn Qian Li, 15, a freshman at Lakeside High School won the Georgia Music Teachers Association Piano Competition for ninth-graders April 19, 2004. Marilyn will perform at the regional competition in the fall.

Next week's problem

Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now. I love him to death and he loves me back, but he has to sneak to see me and hang out with me because of his mother. He won't stand up to her; he has no freedom. He can't even talk on the phone sometimes. What can I do? His mother is ruining everything I've made this relationship to be.Do you have any advice for this 19-year-old Hephzibah girl?

Use the form below to submit your reply or call the Advice Line voice mailbox at 823-3358. You'll have one minute to reply.

Got a problem? Use the form below to tell us about it or call the Advice Line voice mailbox at 823-3358. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

You can also e-mail your problems to kamille.bostick@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. Remember to include your age and hometown. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.



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