Originally created 11/30/03

Choose wedding you want to attend

Dear Carson: I've been invited to the weddings of two close friends, both on the same date in different states. How do I go about choosing which wedding to attend? - Choosing Between Two Good Things

Dear Choices: Are the choices equal? Did the invitations come on the same day? Did you know of one of them before the other? Is one friend closer than the other? If one invitation came before the other, I could make a case for accepting that one, or if one choice involved a bride/groom with whom you had a longer and closer history I might choose that one. Choose the one you most want to attend and at least someone will be happy - you. Whichever wedding you don't attend, send your regrets quickly and express sincere regret that you cannot be two places at once. Give an especially nice gift to both brides.

Dear Carson: I am new to the United States, and in my culture we don't exchange wedding rings. Upon coming here others think you are "unmarried, but living together" if they see you with your husband and child and no ring on your finger. I started wearing a gold band on my left ring finger and am now going back to school. A male student asked if I was married, thus I am confused about the wedding ring or engagement rings. - Miss Confused

Dear Confused: The fellow student who asked if you were married was the one who was confused, not you. He also was out of line.

A plain gold band, on the left ring finger, signifies that a woman is not open to dating.

Dear Carson: My boss' daughter is getting married in December. I have been employed with him for about a year and a half. It is just the two of us in the office, so we work closely together. I feel I should acknowledge his daughter's wedding, yet I really do not know her. She and her soon-to-be-husband are lawyers and have very expensive taste (a $500 linen tablecloth on the bridal registry). Would a card suffice, or should I do the best I can and purchase a small gift? Did I mention that I am his administrative assistant? Your advice would be greatly welcomed. - Wedding Gift Woes

Dear Woes: Your boss knows exactly how much money you make. I think an overly expensive gift would make him uncomfortable. By all means purchase a small gift, such as a couple of hand towels or a small vase.

Dear Readers: With the Thanksgiving holiday behind us, let's remind ourselves what this holiday is all about, and remember patience and good will toward others. Get in touch with a lost friend, invite a lonely person for a holiday meal, send a card or give a thoughtful gift. Let's avoid pretense, stress, over-spending, and overwhelmed.

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@comcast.net. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.


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