Originally created 09/21/03

Don't skip out on ex-husband's funeral



Dear Carson: Should I attend the funeral of my ex-husband? We divorced more than 20 years ago and our sons, ages 36 and 31, are making all of the arrangements. I had only seen my ex-husband once, at our son's wedding. Thank you. - Etiquette for Ex's Funeral

Dear Ex: By all means attend the funeral for your ex-husband. After all, he is the father of your children. I attended the funeral of my ex-husband and found it to be a very healing experience. In my case, I loved my former in-laws dearly and my late ex-husband and I shared many of the same friends.

Dear Carson: My daughter is getting married in November and is starting to have bridal showers. Someone asked me about the gifts that we were going to give to the shower hostesses. Is this the thing to do now? The Web site, www.theknot.com states that this is the correct thing to do, but is this just a gimmick to get more business for the Web site? Thanks for your response. - Confused Mother of the Bride

Dear MOB: Giving a gift to the bridal hostesses is a generous and gracious thing to do. It needn't be a lavish gift, i.e. a bouquet of flowers, guest soaps, hand towels or a silver pin dish. It not only says thanks and that you appreciate their kindness, but you are presenting them with a tangible token of appreciation.

Dear Carson: Is it proper etiquette to send out registry inserts with the invitation to my 2-year-old's birthday party? I thought a gift registry would help out those that might not know what she needs or wants. - Gift Registry Rules

Dear Rules: That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Gift registries are never enclosed, even in a wedding invitation; much less in a 2-year-old's birthday party invitation. You appear to be covering up a bad motive with a good one. The whole idea smacks of greed, presumption and bad taste. Please refrain, deflecting criticism that is sure to be directed at you, should you indulge in such a foolish thing.

Dear Carson: I volunteer at a local nonprofit organization and find it helpful if the donor of a contribution includes the names and address of who is to be notified. Often we are unable to determine where to send an acknowledgement, especially if the person or family lives out of town. - Donation Dilemma

Dear DD: When a donation is made to a church or charity certain information should be included; i.e. the name of the person memorialized, their family's mailing address, the name and mailing address of the donor.



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