Originally created 07/01/03

Teen mom-to-be faces big decision



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I'm pregnant, and my boyfriend said he would help me but I don't know what to do. He said he would come and live with me, and my parents said it was OK. What should I do? - 15-year-old Martinez girl.

Here's what you had to say:

  • I think you should talk to your boyfriend and talk to your parents a little bit more so you both have an understanding of it, but him moving in with you is a big step, and you're pregnant, and that's a big step too, so really talk about it and make your decisions very wisely.
  • What you're saying is really not a problem. I can see if he said he wasn't going to help you, but if he's going to help you, then good. The best thing for you to do is get a job and finish school.
  • What you should do is let him live with you. He said he was going to take care of the baby, so why don't you just let him come in the house and live with you since your parents already said yes. That way, both of you can take care of the baby.
  • You need to talk that over with your parents, because if they're just saying he can go ahead and move in because you're pregnant, then something's wrong.
  • I think you should let him move in. That's your baby's daddy and you should let him take care of the baby.
  • You are very young still, and being pregnant is going to be very hard on you. Yes, you do need his support and your parents' also. But if all is good, you will do the right thing. Everything will go good for you, but it's going to be very, very hard on you.
  • If she is pregnant and her parents are willing to let her keep the baby, I would let him move in as long as he showed responsibility and was willing to take care of the baby by getting a job and showing support.
  • Xtreme reporter Amy Connell says: In all honesty, it may make things more difficult if your boyfriend moves in with you and your parents. The next few months of your life are going to be difficult enough without the added stress of your boyfriend living with you. You have to be sure you're ready to take that step, and he has to be sure he's ready to make that adjustment. Is he able and willing to support you financially and emotionally?

    You also have to understand that you are putting yourself and your child in a predicament by not having a high school education. Also, if your boyfriend is planning on moving in with you, does he plan on marrying you? These are some of the things you have to ask yourself.

    On the other hand, I think it's great that your parents are willing to let your boyfriend move in with you. There aren't many parents that would allow such a thing. It might make your pregnancy easier for you to have your boyfriend there all the time. You have to remember that it's not about you anymore - it's about the baby. If you keep that in mind, you will make the right decisions.

    Just remember that you're very lucky to have parents who are so supportive of you. They will be your best friends for the next several months. You are also very lucky to have a boyfriend who's willing to take responsibility for his actions. In the end, everything will work out.

    NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

    I have a huge problem. One of my best friends is using me to get to my other best friend's boyfriend. What should I do?

    Do you have any advice for this 14-year-old Hephzibah girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

    Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

    You can also e-mail your problems to amy.connell@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.



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