Originally created 03/14/03

Which dog is best to have around in a dark situation?



A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

- Robert Benchley

An alert reader has passed along what happens when you combine two common humor themes - talking animals and light bulb jokes.

The result: "How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?"

Golden retriever: "The sun is shining. The day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. And you're inside worrying about a stupid, burned-out light bulb?"

Border collie: "Just one. Not only that, but I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code."

Dachshund: "I can't reach the stupid lamp!"

Toy poodle: "I'll just blow in the border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry."

Rottweiler: "Go ahead! Make me!"

Lab: "Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Doberman pinscher: "While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch."

Hound dog: "ZZZZZZZZZZ."

Chihuahua: "Yo quiero taco bulb."

Pointer: "I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: "It isn't moving. Who cares?"

Old English sheep dog:"Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?"

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MAILBAG:

From Key West, Fla., Butch and Mary Gay, Bill and Frances Stevens, Robert and Carolyn Thompson, Dave and Jeanette Simpson and Jimmy and Judy Walker say they are having a "great time, wonderful weather."

Joseph Fournier of Evans is loading up on sunscreen in Honolulu. And Barry sends a card from San Francisco.

Speaking of my post cards, Nancy Albert writes: "Mr. Kirby, did you know this was an area of your expertise? Deltiology (del-tee-OL-uh-jee) noun: the study or collecting of postcards. from Greek deltion, diminutive of deltos (writing tablet) + -logy."

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TODAY'S JOKE: This one was passed along by Ruth Tewes.

A 2-year-old was asked to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper. He looked puzzled, and his grandmother explained, "You know; it's the place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed."

The youngster then picked up his things, trotted into his parents' bedroom, and threw his clothes on the floor ... on his dad's side of the bed.

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.