Originally created 03/04/03

Girl must find out if boyfriend cheated



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I just found out that my boyfriend of a year is gay. He's been talking to my other friend who's gay. I found out that they had sex. What can I do? - 15-year-old Augusta girl.

Here's what you had to say:

  • You should dump him and keep him as a friend. You need to talk it over with him, like why he didn't tell you in the beginning. You also need to talk to your friend about what happened.
  • If you just found out about your boyfriend, you should confront him by asking him if he is gay. Then talk to your friend who is gay. If he loves you, he wouldn't try to lie to you about the situation.
  • You should dump him or just talk to the both of them. I don't know but maybe you're too good for both of them. If they didn't have the courage to tell you in your face, instead of going behind your back.
  • I think you should break up with that guy because if he's gay, he's going to want guys anyway. What's the point in staying with him? If he wants to do that to you then he doesn't deserve you. But make sure it really happened; make sure he really is gay.
  • I think that you need to talk to him and let him know how you feel and ask him about how he feels. If he wants to still be your friend, then you should let them be together. Obviously, he doesn't love you if he's cheating on you with your friend.
  • I think you need to leave that boy because that's a sin. You don't need to be getting mixed up with that because you are only 15. So, let him be gay.
  • I think you should write him a letter, letting him know how you feel. But don't come to him with something you didn't see with your own eyes. If he doesn't deny it, then dump him and move on.
  • How can you not know a guy is gay? If he's gay and has been sleeping with your friend, let your friend have him.
  • Talk to him with your friend there too, so you can ask both of them what happened, so neither one of them can tell you a lie.
  • Xtreme reporter Jennifer Hilliard says: It's almost always devastating when a long-term relationship ends, much less with circumstances like these.

    But make no mistake about it, your relationship is over. Maybe not because he had this experience, but because he was unfaithful to you.

    Are you sure that he's gay, or are you relying on someone else's word? If you didn't see it yourself, the only way to know if it really happened is to ask your boyfriend. Do that, and you'll know if he's lying.

    Any expert will tell you that one act of passion doesn't determine someone's sexuality. Just because he may have had sex with this other guy once doesn't mean that he's gay. All it means is that he was curious and acted on it, probably without thinking about your feelings.

    If your relationship with him was a physical one, get yourself to a doctor or clinic to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. If your boyfriend cheated on you with another guy, there is no telling who else he cheated with.

    You may also want to arrange a sit-down with your friend. If he is your friend, why did he cheat with your boyfriend? You need to re-examine that relationship as well.

    NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

    I just came from a different school, and this girl wants to fight me because she thinks her boyfriend likes me. All of my friends say I should just fight her and get suspended to get it over with. What should I do?

    Do you have any advice for this 15-year-old Augusta girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

    Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

    You also can e-mail your problems to jennifer.hilliard@ augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.