Originally created 11/19/02

Girl, 13, should avoid boy who wants her to have sex



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I met this boy and he's trying to force me to have sex with him. But it's not right, and I don't feel right about it. What should I do? - 13-year-old North Augusta girl.

Here's what you had to say:

  • If I were you, I would leave the boy alone because it's obvious that's all he wants you for. You're 13. You don't need to be in that predicament.
  • The only thing to do is leave the boy alone.
  • No one should be forcing you to do anything. You have a mind of your own, and I'm sure you know how to use it. Think about unwanted pregnancies and diseases, and, for goodness sake, you're only 13.
  • Why are you even asking this? You already said you know it isn't right. Just don't do it. You're only 13, and you have too much to lose. Do you really want to be a mom? I don't think so.
  • Just don't do it. Don't do it unless you know it's the time.
  • Don't you ever read magazines? Obviously, if you don't think it's right, it's probably not. Just don't have sex with him. Dump him and find somebody else. It's that easy.
  • Forget about him. If he's forcing you to do something you don't want to do then he's not worth it. Tell him your limits, and if you don't have any, you need to set some.
  • You should tell him no, that you're not ready for it. If he can't accept that then he's not worth it, and you need to lose him.
  • Xtreme reporter Jennifer Hilliard says: It sounds like you're really considering this.

    I don't think anyone has to remind you that you are only 13 years old, certainly too young to even be thinking about having sex. You said you don't feel right about it. That should be your first clue.

    That said, the key word here is force.

    Make no mistake about it, any time a person forces someone else to have sex with him or her, it's rape.

    The most important thing is that you don't feel right about it, and you should never do something that you don't want to do.

    The first thing you should do is get away from this boy. There is no way that you can be 100 percent safe around him. He might be nice about it now, but chances are that it's only a matter of time before your rejections set him off. Don't take that chance.

    Next, tell someone - anyone. Tell your parents. But if you don't feel comfortable telling them about it, talk to friends. You could also seek advice from a school counselor.

    The most important thing to remember is that your safety should be the main concern. Don't be afraid of getting this guy in trouble by telling someone about what he's doing.

    Think about it this way: If you tell someone about it and he does get in trouble, he'll have plenty of time to think about and reconsider his actions. If he doesn't, at least you could save his next victim.

    NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

    My friend did something wrong, got caught and then lied and and almost got me in trouble. What can I tell her to stop this before it gets out of control?

    Do you have any advice for this 13-year-old Aiken girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

    Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

    You also can e-mail your problems to jennifer.hilliard@ augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.