Originally created 11/05/02

Teen needs to tell guy that she is pregnant



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: There's this guy who has a girlfriend, and they've been dating 2 1/2 years and they've been having some tough problems in their relationship. I've been sleeping with him, and I just found out I'm pregnant with his baby. So what do I need to do about this whole mess? - 19-year-old Augusta girl

Here's what you had to say:

  • I think you should tell him and his girlfriend. It may cause more chaos, but it's better than keeping it from him. The truth will come out eventually. So, just tell him and his girlfriend. The truth is always the best way to go.
  • I think she should tell the boy that she's pregnant. If she doesn't, she'll regret it for the rest of her life. She'll need someone to take care of the baby, and that baby will need a father figure. I think he would want to know too, because he probably wants the child.
  • You shouldn't have slept with him in the first place. You should have thought about the consequences before you did it. Now you just have to deal with it.
  • You should have gotten your life together before having kids, and now he might leave you holding the bag with the baby.
  • This first thing you need to do is have yourself checked for AIDS because you are probably not the only one he's been sleeping with behind this other girl's back. Then you need to concentrate on preparing yourself to be a mother because you are pregnant, and I wouldn't count on him to be around.
  • I think that's just a bad thing to do behind her friend's back. She needs to go ahead and tell him because that's just not even right.
  • Xtreme reporter Jennifer Hilliard says: What's most important here is the health of you and your baby. If you haven't been to a doctor already, go now. It might also be a good idea to have yourself checked for STDs. Chances are, you're not the only person this guy cheated with.

    I would suggest setting up a support system. Tell your parents. While they may not be happy about it, they will ultimately help you decide what is best for you and your baby. You may also want to get the opinion of an unbiased party. That means don't ask your friends and family what to do. Try finding a counselor, doctor or women's center.

    You also need to tell the father. Even if he is back together with his girlfriend, he has a right to know about your situation. He also has a responsibility here. He may have been on medication that could harm the baby, and he needs to be there for doctor's appointments.

    As for telling the girlfriend, if you wait much longer you won't have to. You and the father should do it together. That way you can be sure she gets both sides of the story and you don't come away looking like the bad guy.

    NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM I'm 18 years old and I'm in love with a guy who's about to turn 23. He lives in Tennessee, and I'm stuck in South Carolina. It really kills me that we're so far apart. What should I do?

    Do you have any advice for this 18-year-old Edgefield girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

    Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

    You also can e-mail your problems to jennifer.hilliard@ augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.