Originally created 10/15/02

Girl risks a friendship if she reveals feelings



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: I'm having a problem deciding if I should tell my best friend that I have feelings of love for him. He has a girlfriend, and I don't want her to think that I am trying to break them up. We went on a date once, but we decided that we should be friends because of our busy college schedules. What should I do? - 19-year-old Augusta girl

Here's what you had to say:

  • If you get an opportunity to tell him, then tell him. You just can't let that moment pass by.
  • I think if you really like him and have feelings for him, just tell him. If his girl has a problem with it, don't worry about it. When they break up you can go out with him.
  • If y'all have a really good friendship going, then you shouldn't try to break that up. Don't ruin your friendship. If he feels the same way about you, let it ride a little bit.
  • Just wait until they break up, and try to get with him then.
  • Wait, and work something out after he breaks up with his girlfriend.
  • I think you should tell him how you feel because it's important that he knows. If he and his girlfriend break up, then you can go with him.
  • Xtreme reporter Jennifer Hilliard says: Your problem is a tough one. While it's true that friends can make the best boyfriends, you always run the risk of losing a friendship if a relationship doesn't work out.

    The one thing you can be sure of is that you need to respect that he has a girlfriend. If you try to intervene, chances are you would not only lose the respect of his girlfriend but that of your best friend as well.

    That said, you have to tell him how you feel. Keeping your feelings bottled up inside won't make you feel any better about it.

    Just be honest and tell him that you have feelings for him but that you understand and respect the fact that he has a girlfriend. If he's really your friend, he'll understand why you had to tell him. He'll also know that the door is always open for a relationship with you when and if he decides he wants that.

    NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

    I know this girl; we've been talking online for a while and she says she loves me, but she's never seen me and I've never seen her. I want to meet her, but I'm nervous. Should I do it?

    Do you have any advice for this 15-year-old Augusta boy? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

    Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

    You also can e-mail your problems to jennifer.hilliard@ augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.