Originally created 10/15/02

Misleading campaign commercials sour election

The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was at a campaign event the other day and overheard one candidate whisper to another, "You ready for all this to be over?"

The other one nodded, and said, "Wish we were voting tomorrow."

Well, I've got to tell you, if the candidates think they're getting tired of this local election season, how about the rest of us?

I've seen so many misleading, downright deceptive TV commercials that I've found myself writing off candidates who would allow such messages to be broadcast in their name.

The problem is, that sometimes writes off both candidates.

If there's any consolation, it's that history tells us American election campaigns have always been this way.

In fact, today's political hopefuls are probably less likely to shoot each other.

A good thing, I guess.

* * *

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: I know the Lord won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

* * *

BRAVES AGES: Several readers responded to my Friday column about the futility of the Atlanta Braves, including Carol in Aiken, who writes: "You state, 'Combined age of Glavine and Maddux - 104.' I checked out the Braves Web site and they are both 36. That would make their combined age 72."

Well, Carol, the answer is simple. Considering their October performances, I had to calculate their playoff and World Series time over the past decade in dog years.

* * *

TODAY'S JOKE: A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right you can play."

The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and said: "OK, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "Four?"

"Did you say four?" the coach exclaimed with an excited tone.

Suddenly other players on the team began screaming, "Come on, coach, give him another chance!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.


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