Originally created 08/25/02

Use tact and support to cut down on monetary gifts to nephew



Dear Carson: I have a niece and nephew to whom I have always sent $30 for their birthday and $35 for Christmas. My problem is what to do about my nephew who is now working as a computer consultant and has a nice income. I am a widow on a fixed income and I have others to whom I send money. Should I stop sending my nephew a check for his special days and still send to my niece until she graduates? I've been worrying over this since he graduated and I wouldn't know how to communicate my feelings to him. That is out of the question. - Anxious Aunt

Dear Aunt: I don't know why it is out of the question for you to communicate your feelings to your nephew. Tell him you are proud of him for being self-supporting and that if he really needs you to continue sending $30 for awhile longer that you will do so.

Dear Carson: I wonder if you can tell me when and where the custom/rule about men removing their hats indoors originated. - Courtesy Curiosity

Dear CC: I even checked the Internet, but could find nothing. However, I imagine it started in pioneer days when people walked the countryside in all kinds of weather and removed their hats to prevent rain and snow from making a mess indoors. Sometimes I get excellent help from my readers, so if any of you can answer this query I would welcome your input.

Dear Carson: I logged on to your Web site, because I have to employ social skills in my new job as a controller for a very successful building company. At 48 years old I have never partied or gone into many social situations. I had no idea that this job entailed such a function. Help! - Left Brained Controller

Dear Controller: Do your homework before you go to a social event. Who will you see there, what are their names and what facts do you remember about them? Think of a word or color that makes you feel energized. Make yourself get out of your comfort zone. For more information my Web site has booklets, one of which is, Social Skills or Making Your Attendance Count. Also, don't compare your insides to others' outsides. Good luck!

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@comcast.net. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.