Originally created 08/13/02

Friend asks teen to make choice



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: My best friend is a guy, and he wants me to choose between him and my boyfriend. I really don't care about my boyfriend, and I really care about this guy. I never get to talk to my friend. Sometimes we go out together, but it's not a lot. Should I choose him over my boyfriend? I need some help - 17-year-old Graniteville girl

Here's what you had to say:

  • I think you should go with the guy because you and your boyfriend don't have any chemistry.
  • You should choose your friend because guys come and go. No matter how many guys you come in contact with, your friend's always going to be there. Regardless of who you are with, he's going to be your friend.
  • I think your best friend is jealous and really selfish. If you really care about him, I would choose your friend, since you don't really care about your boyfriend. It's really up to you, and you shouldn't let your boyfriend come between you and your friends.
  • Do whatever your heart tells you to do. You shouldn't leave your boyfriend over another boy.
  • Friends are better than any boyfriend. If you don't care about your boyfriend, then there's your answer right there.
  • Xtreme reporter Jennifer Hilliard says: First, you need to ask yourself why you are still with your boyfriend. If you don't care about him, as you said, it's time to rethink things.

    If you choose to stay with your boyfriend and your feelings don't change, the relationship probably won't work out and you'll be left without a boyfriend and a best friend.

    You also need to ask your best friend why he wants you to choose between him and your boyfriend. It sounds like he may have feelings for you, and if that is the case, explain to him that making you choose is not the best way for him to express that.

    Be careful, though. A best friend can also be a boyfriend, but you also stand a chance of losing his friendship if he's not ready to play the boyfriend role.

    Your best option is to be up front with both of them. Tell your boyfriend how you feel. If your friend doesn't think of you that way, ask him to rethink his request. If he's as good a friend as you think he is, he won't ask you to choose.

    NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

    I've been going out with this boy for about a month now. He keeps on telling me he loves me, and I wonder if now is a good time for me to tell him that. I feel it's the right time to do it, but I don't know if I should. The last relationship I was in, I told someone I loved them and got hurt, so I don't know if I should take the chance.

    Do you have any advice for this 15-year-old Hephzibah girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

    Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

    You can also e-mail your problems to feature@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.