It seems the Savannah River has become the "River from Hell," and has thus been deemed off limits to the innocent citizenry of Augusta.
So why not ban cars? They kill thousands annually. How about airplanes? We all know how dangerous they are.
As far as swimming goes, how about swimming in Clarks Hill? Or the Atlantic Ocean? God knows, they are both killers, so let's ban swimming altogether. That should keep little Johnny safe.
Or we could just ban stupidity. But then we'd have to have a special election to vote in a new Augusta-Richmond County government, wouldn't we?
This Memorial Day, let's thank the people who fought for our freedom by fighting for this freedom ourselves. Let's go swimming in the river. See you there!
Alan W. Trisler, Augusta