"'PERSONAL: High Energy! Low Maintenance! Passionate! Doer/Thinker! A student of life! Strong desire to go and grow! A believer and a dreamer!
Employers love enthusiasm in job candidates. When faced with two equally qualified applicants, hiring managers will almost certainly choose the one who wants the job more.
"Health benefits not necessary. All I need is electricity."
Will you require an extension cord for trips to the break room?
And this next job seeker may be playing at a concert hall near you:
"OBJECTIVE: To work in a position where I am recognized as a symphony of hard work, a concerto of loyalty and dedication, an opera of interpersonal relationships."
Hiring managers have been sending us their Resumania entries for decades. Following are a few of the classics:
"I am dependable, loyal, hard working and a quick leaner."
How do you do on your own two feet?
From a cover letter: "I think I would be great in the position of bookkeeper in a nutshell."
But how comfortable will you be working in an office?
"EXPERIENCE: Wrote four cookbooks on computers."
Books on cooking written on a computer, or books on how to bake a PC?
"HOBBIES: Enjoy think-tank diving in spare time."
Otherwise known as strategic scuba?
"GOALS: Now: Get the job. Later: Keep the job."
Sounds like a plan.
COVER LETTER: Hope to hear from you shorty.
Hey, let's not get personal.
"EXPERIENCE: Currently unemployed due to self-inflicted toe sprain."
The downside of getting your foot in the door.
- If you come across examples of Resumania, send them to: Resumania, c/o Robert Half International Inc., 2884 Sand Hill Road, Menlo Park, Calif., 94025. (Fax: 650-234-6998.) Or submit online at www.resumania.com.
(Max Messmer, chairman and CEO of Robert Half International Inc., a specialized staffing firm, is author of Managing Your Career For Dummies and Job Hunting For Dummies. For more Resumania, please visit www.resumania.com.)