Originally created 10/09/01

Teen's too young for sexual pressure



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM My boyfriend's trying to have sex with me, but I'm still a virgin. What should I do? - 14-year-old Augusta girl

Here's what you had to say:

I'm 17 and gave away my virginity about eight months ago. I thought it felt right, but all along I knew it wasn't. I'm still with the guy, but I have decided to stop. And he's respecting my decision. ... I know it's hard, but please break up with this guy. Once you get older, you'll be glad you made the decision. It may feel like the worst thing you've ever done, but you're only 14, and you've got plenty of time.

I believe that if his feelings for you are real, he'll understand when you tell him you're not ready. And if he doesn't accept that, it's time to move on.

Drop him. If he can't leave you alone about it, go find somebody who can wait.

It's your choice - if you don't want to do it, sit him down and tell him: "I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. ... We're too young right now, and I'm not ready for the responsibilities that come with sex." If he won't listen to you, tell him it's over.

I think you should keep your virginity.

Xtreme reporter Alisa DeMao says: Tell him to back off. You're obviously not ready to have sex yet, and that's fine. You're still young. You have a lot of time ahead of you, and you shouldn't let someone else push you into this decision. If you were ready, you would know - the fact that you're asking for advice is a sign you're not sure.

There are a lot of responsibilities that come with having sex, including making sure you're protecting yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. You also don't want to run the risk of getting pregnant. You may feel grown up, but your body still has a lot of maturing to do, and it could be unhealthy for you or the baby if you get pregnant. In addition, you're below the age of consent, so it would be statutory rape, even if you agree to it. He could go to jail.

Explain to him that you're not ready for sex and the responsibilities that come with it. Ask him to respect your decision - and if he doesn't respect you enough to wait, he's not a guy you want around anyway.

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM:

I like this senior, but I'm a freshman. I like him a lot, but a lot of people say I'm too young for him. What should I do?

Do you have any advice for this 14-year-old North Augusta girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please speak clearly and state your age and the town you live in.

You also can e-mail your problems to ademao@augustachronicle.com. Put "Advice Line" in the subject line. All e-mail addresses will be kept confidential. Questions may be condensed for space.