Jeepers Creepers is a thinly veiled attempt at filming the old ghost story and roadside-legend of Mothman, a giant, mysterious figure who scours lonely country roads seeking prey.
Some say that Mothman is real; others think it's just a cautionary urban legend to keep young kids from sticking their noses where they don't belong. Whatever the case, after this movie, nobody should be scared of anything resembling a Mothman.
The main actors in this farce are Justin Long, who strangely resembles Keanu Reeves from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, and Gina Philips, who tries in vain to be Hollywood's next scream queen.
Darryl (Mr. Long) and Trish (Ms. Philips), bone-headed siblings who bicker like they're 4 years old, are coming home for spring break from college. They decide to test the local legend about driving down a certain road, which, interestingly enough, runs through a town named Deliverance. They come across a maniacally driven tank of a truck that almost runs them off the road.
What a pity they didn't wreck then and end this movie.
The two dimwits then spot the truck by a church and see the driver dumping bodies down a sewer pipe. Being such geniuses, Darryl and Trish decide to investigate. This gives us the obligatory scene in which they find the bodies and pretty much figure everything out. That leads to the redundant, drawn-out and almost boring chase scene.
The plot has so many holes drilled through it that you can't pay attention to most of the movie. There are Southern stereotypes, psychics reminiscent of The Matrix's Oracle and so much unintentional humor that it made me sick. Trish and Darryl embody so many slasher-flick cliches that you might start thinking you were watching Scream, except the killer in Scream was believable.
If it wasn't for the good time I had after this movie, hanging out at Bruster's and eating some good ice cream, my night would have turned into a nightmare.
As a comedy, Jeepers Creepers shines. The problem is that it's supposed to be a monster movie. This movie deserves an F, but it's difficult to bring myself to rate it that high. I wonder if a G would work?
Title: Jeepers Creepers
MPAA rating: R for violence/gore, language and brief nudity
Cast: Justin Long, Gina Philips, Jonathan Breck
Director: Victor Salva
The verdict: F
Teen board member Jay James, 17, is a senior at Hephzibah High School.