Originally created 09/09/01

Insensitive neighbors should be ignored



Dear Carson: How should I handle a couple who assume that they should be invited to any and all functions at my house?

They were our neighbors before we moved, and we do not enjoy their company. They are the loud, obnoxious types who like to get drunk and act stupid. They are one of the reasons we moved!

I know that when I see them one of them will make a snide remark about being excluded. Even though we moved away from the neighborhood, we still socialize with other old neighbors on occasion.

My husband and I aren't the only ones who feel as we do, but I am at a loss as to how to deal with these people. - Frustrated in Des Moines

Dear Frustrated: People who are such insensitive clods that they assume they should be included in everything should not be too sensitive when you shrug your shoulders, smile, and say, "You can't have everybody every time."

Dear Carson: The current business-industry trend has been toward a "business casual" dress code. At our office we are to wear business dress Monday through Thursday and casual dress on Friday. There is a rumor that we are going to have a stricter dress code implemented.

We now can wear sleeveless dresses and sandals with hose. It is very difficult to purchase shells, sweaters and suits that have sleeves, and shoes are leaning toward the open-toe kind.

To conform to a rigid dress code would greatly limit our choices of current designs. - Casual Dress Concerns

Dear Casual: Employees showing up for work in unprofessional attire, such as jeans, sneakers and T-shirts, for business-casual Fridays have caused many employers to rethink their policies.

You can find stylish blouses, sweaters and jackets with sleeves as well as enclosed pumps or flats.

Dear Carson: I was reared in the South and was taught to never wear white shoes after Labor Day. Many of my friends think this is a silly rule. They demand that I show them proof that it is unacceptable, and I can only point to my mother because I cannot remember why. Please help me out on this. - Rules for White Shoes

Dear Shoes: The rule is to wear white shoes after May Day but not after Labor Day.

It is really a matter of taste. Just as you would eschew straw hats and sundresses in cold weather or velvet in the summer, white shoes are reserved for the hot months.

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@home.com. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.