Well, that weird yet talented man-girl pop icon, Michael Jackson, will be among those being inducted into the "Rock & Roll Hall of Fame: Class of 2001" at 8 p.m. Wednesday on VH1. Also being honored are Paul Simon, Aerosmith, Queen, Solomon Burke, the Flamingos, Steely Dan and the late Richie Valens.
Also, at 10:30 p.m. Thursday on VH1, there's "King of Videos: Michael Jackson," a two-hour tribute to his music video contributions.
Yeah. We can't pay enough tribute to this guy 'cause, man, he does make darn good videos and writes catchy tunes. So we can forgive him all his little, um, eccentricities.
But we sure like his music. And that's really what matters.
And if that convinces you that you'd like to learn how to be a rock narcissist, tune in to "How To Live Like a Rock Star" at 11 p.m. Saturday on MTV. The show spotlights the opulent, adolescent, gluttonous lifestyle that is rock stardom.
Yes, it's full of tips like how to subsist on bourbon, cocaine and diet cola for days on end to keep off those extra pounds. How to shave your head with a piece of the tour bus door. And how to decorate your new 50-room home in fur and rubber.
I kid the rock stars. I kid because I love. And because they make it so darn easy.
"Warden of Red Rock (8 p.m., Showtime) and "A Glimpse of Hell" (10 p.m., FX) Creepy. James Caan is, like, opposite himself in two very different TV flicks. "Warden of Red Rock" is a Western in which he plays a criminal gone straight who's now the scowling warden at a prison in 1910 Arizona. Sweet. Then when his old partner in crime (David Carradine) breaks out, he's gotta hunt the critter down. Caan, Carradine and co-star Brian Dennehy elevate the predictable story. Then jump over to FX for "A Glimpse of Hell." Caan and co-star Robert Sean Leonard star in this riveting cable drama about the tragic 1989 turret explosion aboard the battleship Iowa that left 47 men dead and the controversial investigation that followed. Jimmy, babe, you still got it.
"First Years" (9 p.m., NBC) I mostly liked this new series about the tough road traveled by a group of ambitious young lawyers, played with wit and charm by Mackenzie Astin, Ken Marino, Samantha Mathis, James Roday and Sydney Tamiia Poitier (yes, she's Sidney Poitier's daughter). But the debut episode tries too hard in the drama department by tossing in a weepy subplot about a race-charged adoption. And because the rest of the episode is so fast paced and fun, these scenes just grind everything to a painful halt. If they cut that out, it might catch on.
"Family Law" (10 p.m., CBS) Yeah. Guns don't kill people. It's actually people with guns who kill people. And Lynn's (Kathleen Quinlan) client finds that out the hard way. Dana Delany ("Tombstone") guest stars as a woman fighting manslaughter charges after her 8-year-old son accidently shoots and kills his older brother with her handgun. Actually I believe we should all have guns, but I think we should have the kind of guns that our forefathers were talking about way back when they were drafting the Constitution - muskets. By the time you load one them suckers whoever you were gonna shoot is long gone and you've pretty much forgotten why you wanted to shoot him. Just a suggestion.
"After the Storm" (8 p.m., USA) Benjamin Bratt AND Armand Assante in one TV flick? Drop a pillow, I may pass out. Set in the Bahamas during the 1930s and based on Ernest "Call Me Ernie" Hemingway's short story, this 2001 cable drama pits two hunky, double-crossing fortune hunters (Ben and Armand) against each other in a bid to recover the riches of a sunken yacht. They also fight over two babes played by Mili Avital and Simone-Elise Girard. Which manly winner will take all? Who cares! Where's that pillow!?
"The Job" (9:30 p.m., ABC) I'm absolutely mad for Denis Leary and his new show. In tonight's fun, verbally risque episode, the guys in the squad fight for position in a case that involves the harrassment of beauty Elizabeth Hurley, who plays herself. McNeil (Leary) takes charge and ends up having dinner with her. Things are going well until they get caught in a smooch by the paparazzi, producing a pic that makes the papers and puts his wife and his mistress in a really bad mood.
"The Gilmore Girls" (8 p.m., WB) When Richard's (Edward Herrmann) mother (Marion Ross) arrives from London and offers Lorelai (Lauren Graham) a trust fund for Rory's (Alexis Bledel) education, Emily (Kelly Bishop) goes into an emotional tailspin. Why? She fears that if Lorelai and Rory have financial independence, she'll lose contact with them again. Boo-hoo.
"The Lone Gunmen" (9 p.m., Fox) This show is soooo "X-Files Lite." Did a sleep-around senator murder his campaign-staff lover? The guys (Bruce Harwood, Tom Braidwood, Dean Haglund) are on it and immediately get a lead that sends them to what seems to be the senator's love nest. There's also evidence to indicate that the woman had a baby before she disappeared. Oh my.