Originally created 01/26/01

Numbers tell tales on weather

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

- H. H. Williams

Did you know Georgia had 29 tornadoes last year?

I didn't, either, but I have discovered that if you write about the weather, you're always going to hear from somebody, including the helpful readers who shared these numerical measures of Georgia's weather in 2000.

Peach State weather by the numbers:

About 500,000 customers lost power in January's ice storm.

Thunderstorm winds caused $17.3 million in property damage last year.

Lightning strikes killed four people and caused $4.5 million in damage statewide.

There was $1.5 million in flood damage during 2000.

Last month was the second coldest December on record in Columbus and the fourth coldest for Atlanta.

Despite an "active" hurricane season, none made landfall in Georgia.

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MODERN DICTIONARY: Carol Taylor passes along this list of 10 words you won't find in a dictionary, but should:

1. Aquadextrous - Adjective. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. Carperpetuation - Noun. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. Disconfect - Verb. To sterilize the candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.

4. Elbonics - Noun. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. Frust - Noun. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. Lactomangulation - Noun. Manhandling the "Open Here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.

7. Peppier (pep-ee-AY) - Noun. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want freshly ground pepper.

8. Phonesia - Noun. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. Pupkus - Noun. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. Telecrastination - Noun. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

* * *

TODAY'S JOKE: A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

"Doc," he asked, "tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well," said the doctor, "in plain English - you're just lazy."

"OK," said the man, "now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107.


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