Originally created 10/17/00

Georgians weigh in on light side

You want fries with that?

- American motto

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a report this month warning Americans that they were in the midst of an epidemic of obesity, a label for anyone at least 30 pounds overweight.

Most of us probably suspected that as much, but here is a curious thing: Georgia has the lowest percentage of heavyweights in the Southeast.

Indeed, according to the CDC's statistics, Georgia's percentage of obese residents is the lowest (below 10 percent) east of the Mississippi River.

Why? I'd say diet.

They don't call them "Slim Jims" for nothing.

* * *

THEOLOGICAL LESSON: Dean Beechy offers us the 10 reasons Eve was created.

10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put out the garbage.

5. God knew that if the world were to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on.

2. As the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone!

1. And finally, when God finished creating Adam, he stepped back, scratched his head and said, "I can do better than that."

* * *

MAILBAG: Several readers, including Jay McDaniel, wrote about a recent Sunday column and my use of the word "strap," which I should have more accurately called a "strop."

You are correct.

It's just that when I was growing up, we used to call it a "strap," which is how my grandmother pronounced it. My other grandmother, by the way, called it a "strop."

Anyway, according to the dictionary, "strap" is a dialect version of the older word - strop.

* * *

TODAY'S JOKE: This one comes from Vince in Martinez.

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the golf course, and Murray was fidgeting with his driver, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: "Would the gentleman on the ladies' tee back up to the men's tee, please!"

He ignored it, and again got into his stance.

Again the announcement could be heard by all: "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up to the men's tee!"

Murray broke his stance, lowered his driver back to the ground and shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107.


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