Originally created 10/01/00

Mother of bride deserves preference



Dear Carson: When a daughter is being married, who has the right to priority seating in church, the mother or the stepmother?

At my granddaughter's wedding, the stepmother pushed my daughter from the aisle and took her place in the aisle seat. My daughter is timid and let her get away with it. I, not wanting to create a scene, also kept quiet.

The second of my granddaughters is being married. Since my daughter was hurt so badly at the first wedding we are looking for a way to avoid another painful situation while at the same time avoiding any kind of disrupting confrontation. Should we call my ex-son-in-law and asking him to use his influence to restrain his wife from creating problems? - Grandmother of the Bride

Dear Grandmother: If your relationship to your ex-son-in-law is a good one, a call of that nature might work. However, with a wedding director and a dress rehearsal, that should not be necessary.

A stepmother should be seated before the mothers of the bride and the groom. She should be seated on the second row behind the mother of the bride. The mother of the bride is the last to be seated, and she is put in the aisle seat.

Dear Carson: You advise wearing a name tag or corsage on a right shoulder. When I extend my right hand for a handshake the other party is looking at my left shoulder and is therefore unable to read from my right shoulder easily. - Name Tag Etiquette

Dear Name Tag: If you are faced fully in front of the person whom you are greeting your shoulder should not be crunched. When meeting someone it is good manners to present one's full front. It sounds as if you may be turned slightly away.

Dear Carson: My boss is very cheap and rarely tips. He says it's improper to tip a restaurant's owners, even if they are the only servers. After having been to a Thai restaurant many times, the owner asked, "Is our service always bad? You never leave a tip". Is the boss correct? - Boss's Secretary

Dear Secretary: Tipping is an accepted part of eating out. The boss should have tipped the server/owner. If he were also the sole server, it seems he really needed the tip.

Confidential to DBC: Many thanks for your long letter and kind remarks. God bless!

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@home.com. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.