Originally created 09/26/00

Consumers hanker for pearly smile



I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

- Garrison Keillor

Smiling today?

Most people want to.

The Academy of General Dentistry reports the top concern of callers to its toll-free help line is how to get whiter teeth.

Studies reveal more people are keeping their teeth longer.

Unfortunately, as people age, their teeth do, too. And years of exposure to coffee, tea, soft drinks and perhaps smoking have taken their toll.

The academy advises (what else?) that you seek your dentist for advice on several whitening options.

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TODAY'S RIDDLE: Which Old Testament figure was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? (Answer below)

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over again, but expecting a different result.

- Albert Einstein.

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TODAY'S JOKE: Three good friends, Jake, John and Ben, all died unexpectedly and woke up in heaven.

"I'm sure you will be comfortable here," St. Peter told them, "but I must warn you that we have rules, and if you break them, you will be punished.

"One rule," he said sternly, "is NEVER step on a duck. If you step on a duck, the duck quacks, then they all quack, and it just goes on and on."

That sounded simple enough to the three, so they passed through the gates.

They were surprised to find ducks everywhere.

In no time, Jake stepped on a duck.

The duck quacked, and then all of them were quacking.

St. Peter walked up with a very ugly woman in tow and said, "I warned you, that if you broke the duck rule, you would be punished."

Then he chained the woman to Jake and said, "You will be together forever."

Sometime later, despite his best efforts, John accidentally stepped on a duck.

They all soon were quacking and, sure enough, along came St. Peter with an even uglier woman.

"I warned you," he said, chaining the woman to John. "The two of you will be together for all eternity," and walked away.

Well, Ben was very careful not to step on a duck.

And his efforts seemed to pay off.

One day, St. Peter came along with an attractive, young woman.

He chained her to Ben and said, "You will be together now and forever." Then he walked away.

"Wow!" Ben exclaimed, "I wonder what I did to deserve this?"

"I don't know about you," said the beautiful woman, "but I stepped on a duck."

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RIDDLE ANSWER: Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107.