Originally created 09/22/00

Questions prove lack of sense



No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

- Dave Barry

The Olympic Games are under way in Sydney, and that naturally has put Australia in the public eye.

Unfortunately, it turns out, the public doesn't know too much about the land Down Under.

Several readers passed along proof of this with a sampling of questions asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee:

Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?

Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

Do you have perfume in Australia?

Can I wear high heels in Australia?

Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round?

Which direction is north in Australia?

Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?

My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in?

(To which the committee answered: "Why? We do have toilet paper here.")

* * *

RIDDLE ANSWER: Who might be called the greatest comedian in the Bible? (Answer: Samson. He brought the house down.)

Juanita Williams called to suggest Ham was the Bible's worst actor.

TODAY'S RIDDLE: What do you get if you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? (Answer below.)

* * *

POETRY CORNER: From Belle LeRoy of Belvedere.

The reason I know

my youth is spent

is my get up and go

got up and went.

But I really don't mind

when I think with a grin

of the places my "get up

and go" has been.

So I get up each morning,

dust off my wits

Pick up the paper

and read the obits.

If my name is missing,

I know I'm not dead.

So I eat my breakfast

and go back to bed.

* * *

MAILBAG: Don Turner of Aiken and Kim Raffield of Augusta send a post card from Sacramento, Calif. They write: "Great weather. Cool and dry at 7,334 feet. Snowed here last week."

And I need to correct the spelling of Ann and Virgil Jahnke's name from my Sept. 12 column.

They sent a postcard from Ohio.

* * *

RIDDLE ANSWER: Halfway.

* * *

TODAY'S JOKE: A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it."

The lawyer says, "No problem, leave it all to me."

The man looks somewhat upset, and says, "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children, too!"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107.