In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
- Dereke Bruce
Almost everyone I know loves dogs, and even if they don't, they won't admit it.
Dogs are loyal, loving and (unlike children) usually quick to train. And it's been said there is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Well, one reader is thinking about dogs and has sent along this list. What would happen, she asks, if we created several new dog breeds?
Some of her suggestions:
Cross a Pekingese with a Lhasa apso and you get a Peekasso- an abstract dog.
Cross an Irish water spaniel with an English springer spaniel and you get an Irish springer- a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.
Cross a Labrador retriever with a curly coated retriever and you get a lab coat retriever- the choice of research scientists.
Cross a Newfoundland with a basset hound and you get a newfound asset hound - a dog for financial advisers.
Cross a bloodhound with a Labrador and you get a Blabador- a dog that barks incessantly.
Cross a malamute with a pointer and you get a moot point- owned by ... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway.
Cross a collie with a malamute and you get a commute- a dog that travels to work.
Finally, if you cross a deerhound with a terrier you get a derriere- a dog that's true to the end.
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MAILBAG: Babette Moody sends greetings from Heilsbronn, Germany, her old hometown.
Liz and Bill Leopard of Aiken say they're still cruising the canals of Ontario, Canada.
And Marion Vann of Augusta sends a postcard from Alaska, writing: "After suffering through the heat, a trip to Alaska was just what I needed. I love Augusta, but Alaska has it all, cool, clean air with lots to see."
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FRIDAY RIDDLE: What multi-letter word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and still be read from left to right?
Now here's another, a Bible riddle. Who might be called the greatest comedian in the Bible? (Answer, Friday.)
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TODAY'S JOKE: This one comes from Ruth Tewes.
A pastor shocked his congregation one Sunday when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a distraught woman walked up with tears in her eyes, and said: "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!"
The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said: "Now, now, Carolyn, don't carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me."
"Naah," she said after thinking a moment, "that's what they told us the last time."
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107.