Originally created 09/17/00

Old notes should be sent with apologies



Dear Carson: While cleaning out a closet, my mother found some thank-you notes from my sister's wedding. They even had 29-cent postage on them. We're in a quandary about how to make amends to these people who were never thanked for their gifts. Should my mother or my sister write a new note to explain what happened? - Blushing Bride

Dear Blushing: That is an unfortunate situation, but one that can be handled. Simply enclose the original note within its envelope with outdated postage. Enclose another note in the outer envelope explaining what happened and offering your sincere apologies. Any reasonable person will be empathetic.

Dear Carson: I have often heard that wearing white after Labor Day is considered gauche. I was wondering if you knew the reason behind this. Is there some significance about when this social rule began? - Wanting to Wear White

Dear White: It is more a rule of fashion than of etiquette, mainly because the lighter shades (especially white) are reminiscent of the hot months. Labor Day signals the unofficial end of summer and the beginning of fall. However, people pretty much do what they like, wearing their hemlines from mid-thigh to ankle and donning clothes that run the gamut of the rainbow.

This rule concerns primarily accessories, mainly shoes and handbags.

Dear Carson: I am so shocked at the manners of high school and college guys who ask our 17-year-old daughter out on dates. I don't call it dating when an 18- or 19-year-old boy tells our daughter to "come over" when she finishes getting ready or to "meet me" someplace.

Our college-age sons have never to our knowledge treated girls in this way. Our daughter thinks we are old-fashioned because we tell her that if a guy is truly interested he will act it and follow the rules. This has caused quite a bit of friction in our home. What is your opinion? - Old-Fashioned Parents

Dear Parents: I am with you. To fall in with this type of macho attention makes the girls look too desperate, as if that is the best treatment they can expect. Too many single women of all ages are far too willing to do men's laundry, clean their apartments and fall into their beds. Stick to your guns!

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@home.com. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.