Originally created 06/20/00

Xtreme advice: Sexually active friend could use guidance


"I've been best friends with my best friend since sixth grade. She started having sex two years ago, at the age of 15. She's already been with five people, and none of them love her. But she says she's in love with all of them. She says there's nothing wrong with having sex, but she thought she was pregnant a while back. I'm 17 and still a virgin and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. She talks about me behind my back and makes fun of me because I'm a virgin. I'm sick of it and want to tell her I don't want to be friends anymore but don't know how to. Any advice?" - 17-year-old Augusta girl

Here's what you had to say

- It's a good thing that you're 17 and still a virgin. Call her and tell her how you feel but don't hold a grudge.

- You're absolutely right for wanting to still be a virgin. There's nothing wrong with that. A friend is someone who makes you better when you're with them, and when you're with her you're obviously not better. You should tell her face-to-face that you don't think your friendship is as tight as before and you no longer want to be friends with someone who talks about you.

- You are smart enough to stay a virgin until you're married. Your friend doesn't realize there are STDs, AIDS and everything else going around. I have a 4-month-old baby because of it, and I'm only 16. Let her down easy and tell her you don't appreciate her talking about you behind your back. Tell your friend to get tested.

- Leave her alone. She's not worth it, and all she'll do is bring you down. A true friend doesn't talk about you.

- Don't stop being friends with the girl. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 17. If your best friend is having sex like that, then she needs to use some protection or her mama needs to put her on birth control pills. Babies are no fun. I've got three and I'm 19.

- Not many 17-year-olds are virgins, and I think it's wonderful you still are.

- You should be proud of being a virgin at 17. Your friend is probably jealous because any day you can be like her but she can never be like you again. Don't ever let anybody make you feel ashamed of being a a virgin. It's a very special gift you want to give to the right man.

- The number one thing in a friendship is respect. If she cannot respect you for who you are, she's not worth the trouble.

- I don't think you should stop being her friend. I think deep down inside she regrets losing her virginity at such a young age. Just talk to her because she really needs a friend at this time.

Xtreme reporter Margaret Weston says:

Stand firm in your convictions and don't let this girl belittle you. If anything, it sounds like she needs some guidance, not to mention protection, if she's as sexually active as she claims.

Next week's problem

"My boyfriend just moved away. He said he's not coming back but that he'll be faithful to me. I love him so much, but he hasn't called or written. Please help."

Do you have any advice for this 15-year-old Augusta girl?

Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer.

Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please state your age and the town you live in.


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