Originally created 05/07/00

Any attire not festive is all right for funeral



Dear Carson: I am 14. Recently, a good friend of mine, who was also 14, died in an accident.

Should I wear all black to the funeral service, a long skirt and long-sleeved shirt? I don't exactly know his parents well, so I feel a little out of place and don't want to do the wrong thing.

Your advice would be greatly appreciated. -- First Funeral

Dear FF: I offer my condolences on the recent and untimely loss of your young friend.

You needn't wear all black, or a long skirt or long sleeves. Darker clothing is definitely more appropriate than loud, bright colors that appear to lend a festive air to a solemn occasion.

It doesn't matter that you don't know the parents very well. They will be touched by and appreciative of your presence.

Dear Carson: What is the correct way to wear a corsage? Do you wear it with the flowers up as they grow, or with the flowers down toward the waist with the stems up?

A boutonniere is worn with the flower up and stem down, so why wouldn't a corsage be worn the same way? Thank you. -- Corsage Correctness

Dear Corsage: You are correct in that the flowers are up as they grow and the stems would be down and pointing toward the waist. A corsage also is worn on the right side of the dress unless the dress is made in such a way that it would look better pinned on the left.

Dear Carson: A friend was recently engaged to a girl whom none in his circle of friends can stand. During their stormy two-year courtship she has proven to be abusive, shiftless and to have problems with alcohol.

While we aren't pleased, we believe that it is inappropriate to expose our feelings about this person and their impending marriage. My father advised me to go to the wedding and not make an enemy by telling my friend that I feel his engagement is a mistake. I initially thought that I was being a bad friend if I did not tell him how I truly felt. What do you think? -- Worried About Wedding

Dear Worried: Go with your father's excellent advice. Your friend is a big boy and should have the privilege of making his own mistakes.

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@aol.com. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.