Originally created 03/03/00

Count your blessings at the pump



We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.

-- Bill Vaughn

If you're like me, you have begun to realize you're paying almost twice for gasoline what you paid this time last year.

It helps, a friend told me, to keep such things in perspective.

Gasoline, she pointed out, is not the most expensive liquid to buy when you stop at one of those convenient filling stations.

For instance, 16 ounces of Diet Snapple can go for $1.29. That's $10.32 per gallon.

Pepto-Bismol in a 4-ounce bottle can cost $3.85, or $123.20 per gallon.

You can pay as much as $1.49 for nine ounces of bottled water, and that would be $21.19 per gallon.

So next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on something else ... say, Scope mouthwash, which if purchased in 1.5-ounce bottles, might end up costing $84.48 a gallon.

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SIMPLE PRAYER: Dear, Lord: So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent. I have not whined, cursed or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged anything on my credit card.

However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that.

Thanks.

Amen.

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The recent death of Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz has brought a genuine outpouring of admiration across America. His gentle impact on the country was truly remarkable.

In fact, Congress rushed to honor him posthumously with a gold medal and easily approved the action 410-1.

What I found curious was that someone voted against it.

That someone was Rep. Ron Paul, a Texas Republican, whose press spokesman said the congressman consistently votes against medals for non-military actions because he finds no justification for such taxpayer expenditures (usually about $30,000) in the U.S. Constitution.

This does not stop Mr. Paul, however, from admiring Charles Schulz as a great American, his spokesman said.

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TODAY'S JOKE: As part of a safety promotion, a California policeman pulled over a car to tell its driver he had just won $5,000 dollars in statewide competition because he was seen wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the cheerful California cop.

"Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's license," the driver answered vaguely.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's always a smartaleck when he's drunk."

Her shout woke up a guy in the backseat, who took one look at the cop then moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk, and a voice said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?"

Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107, .0]bkirby@augustachronicle.com.