If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-- Mark Twain
The youngest member of our family wants us to move to a house where he can have a dog.
It seems a little extreme, but I understand.
When I was his age I had a dog I loved dearly. I also know he would learn things from these most loyal of animals, as I did.
Someone even wrote down such lessons, and I share them with you now.
If a dog were the teacher, you would learn stuff like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Run, romp and play daily.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout ... run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle him gently.
* * *
TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?"
ALFRED: "I get up early."
* * *
TODAY'S JOKE: Comes from Sarah Brown.
It seems an older couple had a son, who was still living with them.
The parents were a little worried, because the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test.
They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey and put them on the front hall table.
Then they hid, pretending they were not home.
The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the Bible, he will serve the church -- but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard.
So the parents waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole, they saw their son arrive.
The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality. ... Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said: "It's even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!"
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 868-1222, Ext. 107.