Originally created 08/27/99

Postcard collection completed

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

-- The Lion

Once again, you've all come through in our summer vacation postcard contest.

I received a postcard from every state in the Union, the last being Indiana.

Robert and Diane Shaffer of Beech Island sent greetings from Kokomo, "where the weather's great!" Also, Bud Dent sent a card showing several donkeys and labeled "Four Hoosiers." He writes: "Since I am here on a legal seminar taught by experts (see front of card) I thought I would fill the void in your collection."

Thanks again for a wonderful summer. And I trust all of you who included your return address got a postcard from me when I went to Florida last month.

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SUMMER TIPS: Speaking of summer, here are some seasonal tips passed along by Aimee Elwell:

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.

When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to bring out the natural sweetness.

To get rid of itch from mosquito bite, try applying soap on the area.

To get rid of ants, pour straight, undiluted PineSol (no imitations) on a rag and wipe the area (countertops, trim, clean floors, etc.). Do not rinse.

When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

* * *


If you don't like the way I'm driving, don't call anyone, just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.

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RIDDLE ANSWER: A doctor gives you three pills, telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last?

(ANSWER:) 60 minutes. Start with the first pill; 30 minutes later take the second; then wait 30 minutes for the third. An hour has passed, and you are out of pills.

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TODAY'S JOKE: Comes from Nathan Brown.

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex staring up at a large plaque in the foyer of the church.

"Preacher, what is this?" Alex asked.

"Well," said the pastor, "it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which one, 9 o'clock or 11?"

Bill Kirby can be reached at (706) 868-1222, Ext.107, or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.


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