Robert Duck and the rest of the boys on the Augusta State golf team are lining up to try to dry out the pockets of Jaguars freshman Jay Haas Jr.
You might remember that Haas caddied for his father last weekend at the PGA Championship, where Haas Sr. pocketed a cool $204,000 for his third-place finish at Medinah. The elder Haas said his son would reap a nice percentage to cover his expenses.
Haas, of Greenville, S.C., will compete for a traveling spot on the Augusta State golf team. Word of his deep pockets struck a nice chord with his new teammates, who will be offering their fair share of hazing.
"I think we're all looking for a game with him," said Duck, a returning junior. "Big dollars aside. Big dollars."
The first Women's National Golden Gloves, held last week at the May Park Community Center, impressed enough folks to possibly bring the event back. It comes two years after Augusta played host to the first Women's National Amateur championships.
Now the push is on for 2001, when Tom and Denise Moraetes, the first family of Augusta boxing, say they hope to stage the first Women's World Amateur championships here in the Garden City.
It would be a coup for the Moraetes clan, and it would be a nice trifecta for the city.
By the way, be on the lookout in this week's issue of Sports Illustrated, where several portraits of the female boxers will be featured. The magazine hired a free-lance photography team to shoot the women in their work clothes and boxing attire.
The story is to focus on the growing trend of working women and mothers as professional athletes. There's a chance that 13-year-old Laura Luther, now 1-0 in the ring, will be among those profiled.
Let's just say that Jamal Anderson's playing for the wrong feathered Atlanta team. The Hawks apparently have the money to burn for perennial reserve Chris Crawford, as he signed for $19 million over seven years. Then they traded two No. 1 picks to the Clippers for someone named Lorenzen Wright. Wright, who's averaged 7.7 points in three seasons, will make $42 MILLION for six years! That's more money than Jamal's deal.
Pardon me, the phone's ringing. "Hello," I answer.
"It's me, David Duval. How you doing Rick?"
"I don't know any David Duvals."
"You know me. Won four times before the Masters. Shot 59 in January. Set record for most money won by April."
"Sorry, I'm not familiar. What'd you do at the Masters?"
"Flopped in the final round."
"And the U.S. Open?"
"Flopped in the third and fourth rounds."
"Did you play at the PGA?"
"Sure did. Didn't you see me?"
"Um, not really. Did you hit a 6-iron from the roots of an elm tree, then run up the fairway, doing a little pirouette like that smilin' Sergio?"
"No, I don't run, and I don't smile much."
"Sir, you're going to have to help me out, because I'm really not sure who you are."
"I'm David Duval. Don't you remember?"
"What sport do you play again?"
You may have read The Chronicle's suggestions for future GreenJackets promotions. Well, here's some choices that didn't make the cut:
Strom Thurmond Night: Anyone the senator's age or older gets in free.
WWF Night: Dress up like your favorite wrestler, then introduce batters like The Rock. "Now batting for Columbus ... It doesn't matter who's batting for Columbus."
Augusta Heat Night: Bring 11 friends to a game, and your football team could play the Heat the next weekend. That is if your bus doesn't break down.