Originally created 02/16/99

Adviceline



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM:

"I'm not very shy, and I can do just about anything. But when it comes to asking boys out I have a problem: I'm afraid if I ask someone out and he says no then everyone in school will know about it and laugh at me or make fun of me. I've never had problems dealing with embarrassment, but I'm afraid this time I might." -- 14-year-ld girl, Augusta

Your Advice:

"Ask him out. If he says no, just get over it and don't worry about what anyone else says."

"Get a friend to ask the boy out for you."

"I don't think you should be embarrassed. Just go with your feelings, and be yourself."

"I don't think you should ask a boy out because he might think you are desperate. If he's interested in you, he will come and talk to you. I think it's the man's responsibility to approach the female, not the other way around."

"What you should do is pull him aside and tell him you want to talk to him later and tell him that you like him and maybe he feels the same way about you. Don't be shy about it, just go ahead and do it."

"Just tell him how you feel. Then ask him how he feels about you. Either write him a note or get his phone number and call him."

"You shouldn't be scared of what people say. You'll go through this sometimes in life, but just don't worry about it."

"If this is an older boy and you're trying to get attention, I wouldn't suggest asking him out. If it's someone you want to have a relationship with, who cares? You're the one going out with him, not anyone else. Do what you want to do. Just remember he has feelings too, and he has the right to say no."

"It's better to try than not try. If you didn't give it a shot, then you'll never know; and if someone does laugh at you, what's the big deal anyway?"

"The only way someone will go out with you is if he knows you like him. Write him a note, or if you're brave enough, ask him face to face. What do you have to lose?"

"It's not like you're going to be asking him out in front of a crowd. Go ahead and ask him. If he's a nice guy, he'll let you down gently if he doesn't want to go out with you."

XTREME Reporter Emily Sollie's advice: Asking someone out can be very scary. You're putting your feelings on the line and setting yourself up for rejection. But, if you never work up the courage to do it, you could also miss out on some great times with the guy you like. What if he's sitting at home right now, thinking about how much he'd like to go out with you, and wishing he were brave enough to approach you?

And if he isn't -- and doesn't want to date you -- you might be hurt at first, but it will pass. And if he's got any couth at all, he won't go spreading it around school and making fun of you. Chances are, he'll be flattered you were interested, even if he doesn't return your affection.

Guys love it when the girl makes the first move. It takes the pressure off them. Give it a shot.

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

"I'm seeing this boy who's a grade ahead of me, and every time I call him he's on the phone with another girl. I think he might be cheating on me. Should I confront him?"

Do you have any advice for this 15-year-old Augusta girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer. Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please state your age and the town you live in.