Originally created 07/12/98

Expressions can soften harsh reality



Dear Carson: I have a friend who owns a winery and on every possible occasion gives me a bottle of white chardonnay. Since I am allergic to white wine and much prefer red wine, I never drink it. Please suggest a tactful way that I can deal with this unwanted but much appreciated gift. -- Looking At A Gift Horse

Dear Gift Horse: Gentle honesty is the best policy. Tell him how much you appreciate his gifts but that the white wine is wasted on you. Suggest that you would welcome a bottle of red wine. Your facial expression and voice tone have much to do with softening anything you have to say.

Dear Carson: During past early summer columns you have addressed the issue of rules of etiquette when swimming in someone else's pool. Being a pool owner I have really appreciated seeing these suggestions in print. Last year I even posted them in a frame in my pool area. Please list them again. Thanks! -- Pool Owner

Dear Pool: Thanks for asking. Here they are:

-- Bring your own towels and pool toys.

-- Have your own drinks and snacks.

--Do not ask to use the pool unless you are invited.

-- Take a trash bag and collect your rubbish.

-- Make sure you have collected all your belongings before leaving.

--Put any pool furniture back in the correct position.

--Be sure your body and feet are clean before you jump into the pool.

-- Do not ask to come into the house for water or the telephone.

--If you have a standing invitation do not interrupt your hosts by ringing the doorbell to tell them that you have arrived or leaving. It only calls them from shower, nap or chores.

-- Do not jump onto their rubber rafts or pool toys.

-- Do not run around the pool.

-- For standing invitations, write a thank-you note or give the owners a really lovely gift.

-- And never, never go to the bathroom in someone's swimming pool.

Ask Carson a question of etiquette by calling INFOLINE AT 442-4444 and pressing 4422. Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. E-mail may be sent to askcarson@mindspring.com