Originally created 05/27/98

Politicians should hit bad drivers

The route to deep humility is rarely blocked by heavy traffic. -- Sen. Alan Simpson

The race for governor is about to heat up with the summer months, but so far I haven't heard one candidate champion my favorite election year issue -- Bad Driver Reform.

It would be so easy and would work like this.

When some inconsiderate jerk cuts you off, tailgates or pulls in front of you and slows down, etc., you should be able to call a toll-free number and report it -- license number, vehicle make and color, day, time and location.

The friendly state trooper answering the telephone would put the information into a computer.

When someone was reported, say, three times, a letter would be sent telling the bad drivers that their fellow motorists consider them a menace.

If the person was reported say, six times, it would come up when the jerk's driver's license needed renewing.

And of course, such a computer check would be required if the bad driver ever ended up in traffic court.

There, finally, the judge could clear her throat and say, "I see you have a problem operating a motor vheicle. I'm going to fix that for next 12 months."

At least one police chief in North Carolina does something like this, I am told.

He sends off letters to rude motorists who have often been reported, but not charged.

Personally, I think it's a great campaign idea for an election summer that has yet to scare up something that could be considered an exciting issue.

So far, I think, everyone's running on their personalities, which, considering what they have to work with, might be a mistake.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: If you really need a helping hand, look on the end of your arm.

MORE ADVICE: Before the Battle of El Alamein, Winston Churchill summoned General Montgomery and suggested that he study the logistics of the battle.

Montgomery doubted that he should become involved in such technical matters. "After all," he told Churchill, "familiarity breeds contempt."

"I would like to remind you," Sir Winston replied, "that without a degree of familiarity, we could not breed anything."

TODAY'S JOKE: Two old friends met on a street corner one day and the first noticed the other had bandages on both ears.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well," said the man, "my wife is out of town, so I was trying to iron my shirts while watching the ballgame on TV. In the middle of all this, the phone rang and I accidentally put the iron up to my head instead of the receiver.

"Ouch!" said his friend.

"Oh, that's not the worst of it," his friend said. "When I did finally get to the phone, it was a wrong number."

"I'm so sorry," said his friend. "But tell me, how did you burn the other ear?"

"Wouldn't you know it?" the injured man said. "That fool called back."


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