Originally created 05/26/98

Xtreme advice: Communication is the key for people who care



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM: "I've been dating a girl for two years and she's acting really weird all of a sudden. I've tried to talk to her about it but she keeps avoiding me. I need your advice, please."

YOU ANSWERED:

-- "There could be a lot of things that's bothered her. If y'all have dated for two years she might just need a little space and not know how to express it. If you've been dating two years, probably the communication line is pretty open. So keep trying to talk to her."

-- "Go ahead and dump her. She'll start paying attention to you then."

-- "Go sit down and talk to her about your problems because if you don't, it may get worse. Let her tell you how she feels about something or what's going on in her life so you can understand and help her. Tell her that you think it's not right for her to act weird. That's totally wrong."

-- "Obviously she doesn't want to talk about the situation right now. Maybe you should leave her alone for a while and then maybe she'll tell you what's wrong."

-- "If she doesn't want you to talk to her then leave her alone. Dump her and go find someone else. Obviously, she's kinda crazy. There must be somebody else in her life. Don't sweat it, go find somebody else."

-- "You should know what the deal is, this girl is cheating on you. I think she doesn't like you anymore. If she's ignoring you, ignore her back. Shoot, end that relationship."

-- "Get rid of her."

-- "Dump this chick, she don't like you anyhow."

Xtreme Reporter Wendy Grossman says: There's probably something going on in her life. Something that's changed. Has something happened with her parents or her family? She might be struggling with some issue and yeah, she's gonna act a little weird and all you can do is hang out and be supportive.

Or, maybe your world is a little more like Melrose Place and she's having a torrid affair. The thing is, is that y'all have been going out for two years and she might be thinking that she wants to "sow her oats" or something and see what's out there. Barbara Bush married the first man she kissed -- but nowadays most girls don't want to do that.

She probably cares a lot about you and so she doesn't want to totally let you go or have a big confrontation getting you out of her life. She probably still wants you in her life but she wants to see what else is there. If you think this is the case you could talk with her about seeing other people.

I guess my advice is that if she's going through something tough -- then yeah, she's going to act weird. Help her out and give her big hugs when she needs them. If you search and search and can't find any underlying reason for her "weirdness," then maybe you guys should take a little break.

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM:

"I've been going out with my boyfriend for about four months, actually, we've been talking for 10 months. Anyhow, my mom passed away about a year and a half ago and every now and then I cry about it. I know it's normal to cry, and I go to him when I'm upset -- but how much can I do this? How do I know when it's bothering him?"

Do you have any advice for this 13-year-old Augusta girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer. Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please state your age and the town you live in.



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