Originally created 03/03/98

Xtreme advice: Work should come before play



THIS WEEK'S PROBLEM:

"I really want to get a job -- but my boyfriend says if I do, then we won't be able to spend enough time together. But I really need the money for summer school and clothes because I don't live with my parents, I live with my sister. What should I do?"

YOU ANSWERED:

"Get a job and spend time with your man when you're off."

"Get your job. Your boyfriend ain't gonna pay for your clothes, and he ain't gonna pay for summer school."

"Your man does not have any reason to tell you want to do. Honey, get your job."

"Give him a choice -- he dates you, or he buys your clothes and pays for school."

"Don't listen to your boyfriend. He's not worth everything. Don't worry about your boyfriend. Those are your needs, not his needs. You need to listen to your mind and not your boyfriend."

Xtreme Reporter Wendy Grossman says: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Instead of hours and hours of sitting in front of the television staring at Beavis and Butt-head reruns you've seen a million times going, saying, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" maybe you guys will be able to have more fun when you're together. While you're working he can think up fun places to take you. Or he can massage your tired feet when you get home -- and you'll like him even more.

If you've got an active fun life of your own when you're dating someone, you're less likely to get sick of each other and get into stupid fights because you're spending too much time with each other and getting on each others nerves.

It sounds like he wants to control you and be the very air you breathe. If he really loved you, he'd support you in getting your job. If you get a job you'll probably gain more confidence and self-esteem. You'll have the money to buy the stuff you want and you won't have to worry about how you're going to get money for school.

Get your job, and if your boyfriend is a good guy, your relationship will continue to grow. If not, maybe you'll meet some super cool guy at work. (That could be what he's afraid of.)

NEXT WEEK'S PROBLEM

"I'm lonely. I have friends and stuff, but even when we're all sitting together and everyone is laughing, I feel like I'm by myself, even though they're there."

Do you have any advice for this Augusta girl? Call the Advice Line at 442-4444 and press 8614. You'll have one minute to answer. Got a problem? Call 442-4444 and press 8613. You'll have one minute to give us your situation. Please state your age and the town you live in.