Originally created 10/01/97

Medical terms for modern era



Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

- Mark Twain

TODAY IN HISTORY: On Oct. 1, 1829, the Medical Academy of Georgia began its work in Augusta. It had a faculty of three - Dr. Milton Antony, his son-in-law Dr. Ignatius P. Garvin and Dr. Lewis Ford.

Its name was so changed to the Medical Institute and, in 1833, to Medical College of Georgia.

Much has changed over the years, that's why we have these modern medical terms:

Outpatient: Unconscious.

Pap smear: Fatherhood test

Postoperative: Letter carrier

Recovery room: Place to do upholstery.

Seizure: Roman emperor.

Terminal illness: Sick of airports.

MAILBAG: W. Hammond Burkhalter sends a post card from Explorer Glacier in Alaska. He writes: "I know time for reporting vacation travel is over, however, I did want to say that I am in Anchorage as a delegate to the National Conference of National Associations of Development Organizations. Our own director of Lower Savannah Council of Governments, Eric Thompson, is being seated as national president and we are here to cheer him on!"

Carol and Don, our frequent correspondents, also send a post card from the North - New Brunswick, Canada. They write: "Had to show you this bridge in Hartland, New Brunswick. We went through it in the car - not the motorhome. It's quite a structure, built in 1901, repaired and covered in 1922."

MY LIFE: My wife was watching a movie on cable when I asked, "What's so great about Antonio Banderas? Take way his hair, his looks, his money and what have you got?"

"You," she said back to me.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes." - H. Ross Perot.

BASEBALL PREDICTIONS: Whenever I think the Braves will win, they lose. So I officially don't think they have a chance. I think the World Series will feature the San Francisco Giants and the Baltimore Orioles. And the Orioles will win.

TODAY'S JOKE: Comes from Gerald Roberts of Augusta.

A wife told her husband she wanted to get a pet monkey.

"What will it eat?" the husband demanded angrily.

"It'll eat at the kitchen table with us," the wife answered.

"But where will it sleep?" the husband asked.

"It will sleep in the bed with us." the wife said.

"But what about the odor?" the husband asked.

"He'll get used to you." the wife answered.

(Got a better one? Send it to me at PO Box 1928, Augusta, Ga. 30903.)